Page 54 of A Proposition for the Comte
He gave the impression he was shocked into silence.
‘You are the most dangerous spy in all of Europe and one people steer well clear of so as not to incite your wrath. Every story I have heard of you is more audacious and risky than the last. The opium dens. The underground ministry in Paris. An easy disposal of enemies. Your job of crossing between enemy lines and dealing with situations that no one else can. Yet you are mortified at the thought of the union of our bodies without the blessing of a marriage certificate. Why?’
‘Because I cannot keep your enemies at bay without giving you my name.’
‘Just as I cannot protect you if I agree to this.’
‘Protect me?’
She turned away to the window and breathed in hard. ‘I was the one who asked George Taylor to fashion the first ornament. Harland was gambling far beyond his means and I thought it was family money he played with and lost. Amaryllis and the boys deserved something left and so I made the decision to make sure there was an inheritance.’
‘Lord.’
‘I came across him piling up gold coins one day, carelessly, and told him it would be better to fashion what he was not using into a statue. That way no one would know of its value except him and it could be melted down when he needed it. He liked the idea and asked me to pursue it, but George Taylor, the jeweller, was a man I should not have entrusted with my mission. A quarter of the gold went into the piece of art and the rest was of silver and lead. I put away the unused gold and told Amaryllis of my plan, but George Taylor came to Harland and let him know what I had done. My husband punished me and then proceeded to continue the charade for his own benefit with gold that was sent over to him from France. There were three more ornaments made.’
‘How did he punish you?’
‘With his fists. With a strap. With the things that husbands across the ages have beaten their wives with. Needless to say he also took the gold.’
‘Where were your parents?’
‘Dead. I was not allowed to contact anyone outside Addington Manor. I had been forbidden to take a horse out or a carriage. I was watched by Harland’s servants from dawn to dusk and any new disobedience was swiftly dealt with. In the end fright kept me numb and Harland began to stay away from our estate for longer and longer periods of time which suited me.’
She raised her eyes to his.
‘I am ruined well and truly, don’t you see, Aurelian? Tonight in the ballroom you had the choice of every available woman there and there were many young and beautiful candidates. Your friend Summerley Shayborne said as much to me. It can be this and no more.’ There were tears in her eyes as she said it, thinking of her barrenness and her inability to ever produce an heir. ‘It is all that I can offer you. My body.’
‘Then it is enough.’
He pushed her nightdress down across her shoulders and one hand came beneath her left breast to cup the weight of it. When he lifted it to his mouth she breathed in.
The rug beneath them was thick and warm, his shirt and neckcloth off even as he brought her down. Flame licked in the fireplace, the eddies of their movements inciting it, and the room from this angle was strange and different. Here the night was close and the morning far. Here the thrall of all she had felt before returned.
This lust or truth or whatever it was, this nameless thing wrapped in the forbidden, was fashioned in nearly honesty, too, now, with the secrets between them lessened.
Her fingers traced his cheek and she opened her eyes to watch him, a puzzlement there.
‘What?’ She whispered this, their lips still touching, just a breath of words but heard none the less.
‘You are beautiful.’
Her forefinger then ran across the bridge of his brow, smoothing the lines, making him smile.
‘And brave,’ he continued, ‘and kind.’
Tears pooled and ran down her cheeks. It had been a long time since anyone had said anything so very tender to her, yet tonight she could almost believe them to be true.
When his lips nuzzled her breast again she arched her neck and smiled, at his exuberance and his expertise, his hands stroking, his flesh warm. A skilled lover with a thousand things to teach her.
‘I can hear you thinking, Violet.’ He whispered this in her ear.
‘I want to remember how you do it, how you make me want you.’
‘Why?’
‘So I can give you the gift back.’
She felt him smile against her skin. ‘This between us? There are no repayments needed.’
