Page 53 of The Destined SEAL
I scoff. “Because I spent the first half doing nothing but apologizing.”
Harper blows out a long, jagged breath and finally turns to face me. The pain in her eyes is crystal clear, but she wears a peaceful smile on her pink lips. “Sometimes when something bad happens and everything falls apart, it’s not so something better can come together. It’s unrecoverable. There’s no silver lining, and dreams turn into unimaginable nightmares. You’re left scarred—irretrievable, in a zone untraceable by lifeboat, by hope, by love. You disappear completely.”
“I’m here. With you. That statement is a tad dramatic,” I deadpan.
Her smile widens. “But it’s the truth.” She shakes her head. “I’ll be your friend. I’ll always be your friend. To be anything more than that would be dishonorable to our past. We’re so much more than lovers,” she says, leaning her head on her shoulder. “We’re lifers, Benny. Forever.”
It hits me hard and fast. A swift break, a sharp pain. “You’re serious. You’ve made up your mind for good. Not like the times in the past when you’ve lied and tried to forget what we could be. This is real this time, isn’t it?”
“It’s sad, I know.” She kicks her legs, and both of her flip-flops fly into the air. They turn into tiny black dots as they hit the ground. “Time is a luxury we can’t waste. Not anymore.” Shaking her head, she steels her resolve. “If Norah taught me anything, it was that. Time. So much of it was wasted and squandered in the name of fear and indecision. I can’t let you hurt me again.”
My heart hammers. “Why would I purposely hurt you? It’s like cutting my own heart! I have the scars to prove I’ve done it in the past, that’s for damn sure. I’ll never hurt you again. You have to trust me. Trust me! What if I don’t accept your decision?” I ask.
She laughs, shaking her head softly. “You don’t have to. I’m strong enough for both of us.”
The clouds are turning a shady purple color as the cool of night layers the air. She points at the cloud cluster. “Vada Sultenfuss,My Girl. Sitting on the end of the dock.”
“Shit. I actually see it,” I reply, letting out a loud laugh, trying to accept her decision as coolly as possible. “Keeping the sad trend alive, I guess.”
“You cried like a baby every single time we watched that movie,” Harper says, wiping her nose. Sitting back, she opens the plastic bag, pulls out a pack of Sour Patch Kids, and opens the bag. “Every single time.” She offers the open bag my way.
I take a handful and pop them in my mouth. Around the sugary sweetness, I admit, “You liked to torture me. I don’t even know why you’re my friend. All you do is torture me.” I shake my head. “I should banish you.”
“That’s what best friends are for. Don’t be lame. You can’t banish me. You love me.”
I groan. “The root of all of my problems.”
Harper pulls out a thick black marker and pulls off the cap. She crams about seven red kids in her mouth and leans up on her knees. “What do you say we leave our mark, huh?” She motions behind us to the water tower. It used to be a sky blue, but now it’s covered in spray paint and marker. You can barely even tell what color it used to be.
She scribbles in capital letters: Vada + Thomas J. BFF
I take the marker from her hand and shield my work with my free hand: Ben + Harper = Life
I take my hand away so Harper can see. She stares at it for a few seconds. “I want to kiss you right now,” Harper says, looking at me.
I raise one brow. “You should. Don’t be strong enough for the both of us,” I tease.
She sighs, hands me the bag with all of the Sour Patch flavors she doesn’t like, and digs in to find a different candy. She pulls out the Bubble Yum and puts a piece in her mouth.
“You planned this. You planned to take advantage of me. That’s the only reason you’d bring my chewable kryptonite,” I exclaim, pointing at her mouth.
“A first kiss and a last one. It’s the only way,” Harper says.
My smile falls, and my stomach flips. Not from the sugar, but from the prospect of never having her lips as my own after tonight. I don’t ponder long because Harper’s leaning toward me. I halt her, taking her head in my hands. I place my thumbs on her lips. They’re warm and sticky, and I inhale greedily. She smacks her gum and then closes the distance between us, sealing the finality of this moment with a kiss.
I taste her forgiveness and feel her soul. I hold her face, and she clutches me tightly. Tears and love war with the inevitable future. The sun is long gone now, and from the ground we look like two tiny specks entangled in an embrace, neither ready to let the other go.
Eventually, reluctantly, we do part ways. I chew her gum that ended up in my mouth for hours, trying to figure out what exactly transpired tonight. I think about love and life. I think about heartbreak and pain. I try to figure out what to do next—where to go from here. What Harper wrote on the tower was a right-now sentiment. What I wrote was meant for forever. It’s always been that way with us. The turtle and the hare. I’ll never give up hope. I can’t. Not after everything we’ve been through.
As I fall asleep, I’m left with only one thought: Love sews souls together. Life picks at the stitches.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Harper
“A. S. L,”I say out loud, reading the newest message in my dating website inbox. This one is a real gem, although the photos of dicks are probably more offensive. This proves that not only isn’t he a match, but he didn’t even take the time to read my damn basic info. The test to pair me with matches took exactly a week. It’s supposed to be foolproof. It will find me the man of my dreams, or I get my three hundred dollars back.
Not that I doubt their diehard promise, but I already have a pair of shoes picked out that cost two hundred ninety-nine dollars. I’m hoping they’re on sale when the refund comes.
