Page 91 of The Moon Sister
‘I just feel sostupid. . .’ she continued. ‘I’m just as pathetic as all those other girls I used to laugh at when they got used by a boy. Now it’s me, and . . .’
‘What happened, Zara? Can you tell me?’
‘You’ll just say I’m stupid. I mean, I knew his reputation, but I didn’t listen, because I thought I was different . . . thatwewere different. I . . . loved him, Tiggy, and I thought he loved me too. And that would make it okay.’
‘Make what okay, Zara?’ I had a pretty good idea what ‘it’ was, but I had to hear it from her.
‘I . . . well, he went on and on about it, said we couldn’t be a real couple until we did. So, we . . .did. And then . . . and then . . .’ Tears welled up once more in her eyes.
‘Yes?’
‘And then the next morning he sent me a text, dumping me! Like, the idiot couldn’t even say it to my face! He’s just what the other girls said he was – only after one thing. Then I heard he’d told all his friends, so when I walked in for tea, everyone was giggling and pointing at me and it was so . . . humiliating, Tiggy. So the next morning – like, earlier today – I had town leave, so I got on a train and came here. And I can’t ever go back!Ever,’ she stressed, just in case I wasn’t convinced.
‘Oh Zara, how awful for you,’ I empathised, seeing that she was still cringing with embarrassment. ‘No wonder you ran away. I’m sure I would have done too.’
‘Really?’ Zara looked up at me.
‘Really,’ I repeated. ‘Listen, you aresonot the one to blame in all this. It washimthat did the bad thing, not you.’
‘Tiggy, you’re so nice, but I did do a bad thing. I lost my virginity to him in the grounds of a Catholic school! The sins of the flesh are beaten into us day and night. If the monks knew, I’d be on a gazillion Hail Marys for the rest of my life! Plus I’d get expelled.’
‘It’s him who should be expelled,’ I muttered darkly. ‘Why is it always us women who get the blame in situations like this? You’re feeling like a total slapper while your Johnnie is parading around like a . . . stallion at a stud farm!’
Zara looked at me and my vehemence in surprise. ‘Too right, Tiggy! You go, girl! And by the way, he’snot“my” Johnnie. Even if he crawled on his hands and knees all the way to Kinnaird, I’d tell him where to stick his precious . . . stud!’
We both giggled then and I was glad to see Zara a little brighter.
‘Zara, have you spoken to your mum about any of this?’ I ventured. ‘I’m sure she’d understand, she was your age once too—’
‘Oh my God! Never! I can’t talk to Mum about anything, let alone sex! All she’d do would go on at me for how I’ve messed up!’
‘Okay, I understand, but I am going to have to let your dad know where you are. Beryl said he was going to call the police if you hadn’t turned up here by morning. And you really don’t want the hassle that will bring on top of everything else.’
‘Then just give me until the morning, please, Tiggy,’ she begged me.
‘Okay,’ I agreed after a long pause. ‘You can sleep here on the sofa.’
*
The next morning, I woke to find Zara gone, a scribbled note on top of the blanket on the sofa.
Sorry, Tiggy, just need a bit more time by myself.
Don’t worry about me, I’m fine.
Z xx
‘Shit!’ I dressed hastily and ran across to Kinnaird Lodge.
‘There you are, Beryl,’ I said as I found her in the kitchen, my breaths coming in short gasps, my heart hammering.
‘What is it, Tiggy, dear?’
I gave Beryl a brief run-down of the situation.
‘You’re not to blame yourself, Tiggy. You did what you thought was best,’ Beryl said supportively, which surprised me.
‘Thanks, but I need to contact Charlie, Beryl. Can I use the landline?’
