Page 116 of The Sun Sister
In a panic, because those feelings of anger were the ones that had sent me down Vodka Alley and inevitably steered me along Cocaine Walk, I put on my running gear and headed for the door. Outside on the trail, it was far busier than it ever was at sunrise, and I ran past the other joggers, trying to pound the outrage I felt out through my feet.
‘How frigging dare she! Comparing me to her...Jesus Christ!’
By the time I came off the track and was at the water cooler, I was dripping wet, partly due to the sun that was frying everything beneath it and also because I had just completed five circuits. I gulped back the water, feeling dizzy and disoriented and wishing that Fi was around to talk to about how I was feeling.
‘Hi there,’ said Miles, walking towards me from the car park as I dragged myself towards the entrance of The Ranch. He was looking even smarter than usual, in a jacket, button-down shirt and tie.
‘You’re late for your run today,’ he said as we hovered in front of the door.
‘Yeah, I am. Listen, could we go talk for a moment?’
‘Sure. How about the canteen? It has air con and the sun’s boiling hot today.’
We went inside, me grabbing myself a bottle of water and Miles fixing himself a coffee.
‘What’s up?’ he asked as we sat down and he loosened his tie.
‘Vanessa. She told me I was no different to her; that I sold my body too.’
‘I guess that struck a nerve with you.’ Miles sipped his coffee, then regarded me steadily. ‘So?’
‘What do you mean “so”? Jesus, Miles, can you just quit sounding like a therapist?’
‘I’m honestly not trying to do that, but when you get uptight about stuff, it’s normally because part of you thinks it’s true.’
‘Gee, thanks! So you think modelling equates to prostitution?’
‘I’m not saying that, Electra. I’m asking you what you think.’
‘I think that I get paid a shit-load of money for being in promotion,’ I said, quoting a line from another famous model who had been quizzed on the subject. ‘And you know what? I’m sick of people thinking that just because I do this job, it’s, like, easy.’ I stood up suddenly. ‘It’s damned hard work, the hours are crazy, I rarely sleep in the same bed for more than a few days and before coming here, I hadn’t had more than a couple of days off for maybe two years. And...there’s something else I’ll tell you.’
‘You go for it!’
‘Being famous isn’t exactly a walk in the park. Like, everyone in the world is chasing fame, but they take for granted having the freedom to just walk out of their apartment on a Sunday morning and go for a run without someone recognising them, or a newspaper getting a tip-off and then getting a shot of them sweating like a pig. Every week there’s gossip about me with a new man – or the fact I’ve dumped a man, or haven’t dumped him but am screwing someone else at the same time...Jesus! Sorry,’ I added hastily.
‘It’s okay. Thanks for the apology.’
‘And you know something else? Ihaveearned a load of money, and I don’t know how much exactly, but I’m gonna find out, and when I do, I’m gonna buy myself a real home and then start doing stuff that matters. Like helping kids like Vanessa.’
‘Hallelujah!’ Miles said, and gave me a slow round of applause.
‘Please don’t make fun of me. I’m being serious. Completely serious.’
‘I know you are. And I’m loving you for it. Sounds like you’ve had an epiphany.’
‘Maybe I have,’ I said, feeling suddenly exhausted and slumping into my chair. ‘I haven’t been in control of my life for maybe...ever. Oh, for a few days in Paris, before I got spotted, I guess. All this booze and drugs and not knowing about my finances, and letting everyone else make all the decisions for me, is wrong and I’m gonna change it, Miles, I really am. Cheers.’ I toasted him as I threw back the rest of my water.
‘You go, girl!’ he said. ‘And you know what?’
‘What?’
‘All that stuff you just said about the hard work and the fame?’
‘Yes?’
‘You can flip it on its head, just like an egg turned sunny side up, and use your high profile to do good. For example, bring those darned cameras along to my drop-in centre and start raising awareness of what goes on out there on the streets.’
‘You know what? You’re right,’ I said. ‘And you know something else?’
