Page 20 of The Missing Sister
‘I don’t think it’s far,’ said Maia. ‘We could ask Electra if she can go in the next few days, but I know she’s been inundated by the media since the Concert for Africa the other night. She may not have the time. When I was in Geneva yesterday, her face was all over the newspapers.’
‘She certainly knows how to grab the attention, doesn’t she?’
‘Honestly, Ally, she’s sounded so much better since she came out of rehab. I don’t think her speech at the concert was about getting attention. She’s serious about helping others with addiction problems and it’s wonderful that she can use her fame for good, don’t you think? She’s become an inspiring role model.’
‘Yes, of course she is.’ Ally yawned. ‘Forgive me; I’ve become a ratty old bag in the past few weeks.’
‘It’s only because you’re permanently exhausted,’ Maia comforted her.
‘Yup, I am. I thought that after all I’ve been through in my sailing career, having a baby alone would be easy, but you know what? It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done, especially the “alone” bit.’
‘Everyone says it gets easier after the initial months, and at least for the next few weeks, Bear will have lots of aunties around to look after him.’
‘I know, and Ma has been wonderful. It’s just that sometimes, well...’
‘What?’
‘I look into the future and see myself alone,’ Ally admitted. ‘I can’t imagine meeting anyone I can love as much as I loved Theo. I know we were only together a short time – which is what everyone says when they try to comfort me – but it felt like forever to me. And...’ Ally shook her head as tears fell down her pale cheeks.
‘I’m so, so sorry, darling.’ Maia put her arms around her younger sister. ‘There’s no point in trying to tell you that time heals, that you’re still young and of course you’ve got a future ahead of you, because for now, you can’t see it. But it is there, I promise.’
‘Maybe, but then I feel so guilty. I should just be happy because I’ve got Bear. Of course I love him to the depths of my soul and yes, he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me but... I miss Theo so, so much. Sorry, sorry... I never normally cry.’
‘I know you don’t, but it’s good to let it out, Ally. You’re so very strong, or at least, your pride doesn’t allow you to be weak, but everyone has their breaking point.’
‘I think I just need some sleep – proper sleep. Even when Ma is doing the night shift, I still wake up when I hear Bear cry.’
‘Maybe we could arrange for you to take a short holiday – I’m sure Ma and I could cope with Bear here.’
Ally looked at her in horror. ‘What kind of mother takes a “holiday” from her baby?’
‘Those that can, I should think,’ replied Maia pragmatically. ‘If you look back to the old days, new mums didn’t rely on their husbands; they had plenty of female relatives who would support them. You’ve had none of that support since you moved to Norway. Please don’t beat yourself up, Ally, I know how hard it is to settle in a new country, and at least I speak the language in Brazil.’
‘I’ve done my best to learn, but Norwegian is so difficult. There were a few nice mums at my antenatal classes who spoke some English, but since we’ve all had our babies, we’ve gone our separate ways. They have their own families around them, you know? I’ve begun to wonder whether it was a mistake moving there in the first place. It would be fine if I was playing in the orchestra, keeping busy, but for now I’m just stuck at home in the middle of nowhere with Bear.’ Ally wiped her eyes harshly with her hands. ‘Oh God, I’m sounding so self-indulgent.’
‘You’re not at all, and decisions can always be reversed, you know. Maybe these few weeks here at Atlantis, and then being back on your beloved ocean, will give you some time to reflect.’
‘Yes, but where would I go? I mean, I love Ma and Claudia dearly, but I don’t think I could ever move back to Atlantis permanently.’
‘Nor could I, but there are other places in the world, Ally. You could say it’s your oyster.’
‘So you reckon I should just stick a pin in the map and go wherever it points to, do you? It doesn’t work like that. Got a tissue?’
‘Here,’ said Maia, digging into a jean pocket and producing a tissue. ‘Well, Auntie Maia suggests that you take a nap now, then let me and Ma sort Bear out tonight. I’m jet-lagged anyway, so I’ll be up until all hours. Truly, Ally, I think that your brain has just been scrambled by exhaustion. It’s important you get some rest before our sisters start arriving.’
‘You’re right,’ Ally sighed, as she slipped a hairband from her wrist and twisted her curls into a knot on top of her head. ‘Okay, if you’re offering, I’ll take you up on it. I’ll stuff earplugs in tonight and try to ignore the squalling.’
‘Why don’t you sleep in one of the spare bedrooms below us on Pa’s floor? That way you won’t be woken if Bear starts crying. For now, I’ll check flights from New York to Toronto and then give Electra a call to see if she wouldn’t mind going.’
‘Okay. Right, I’m going to take that nap. Bear’s bottles are all in the fridge if you need them – the nappies are on his changing unit and—’
‘I know the drill, Ally,’ replied Maia gently. ‘Now, go upstairs and get some sleep.’
Once the internet had informed her that Toronto was under two hours’ flight from Manhattan, Maia picked up her mobile and dialled Electra’s number. Not expecting her to answer as it was so early in New York, she was surprised to hear her sister’s voice at the other end of the line.
‘Maia! How are you?’
Even her phone response is different now...Maia thought. Before, Electra would never have asked howshewas.
