Page 228 of The Missing Sister
‘This from the child who told me only a few minutes ago that she wasn’t bothered about meeting her own birth family?’ I smiled.
‘Yeah, but the difference is, I can if I want to,’ Mary-Kate countered. ‘You’re frightened, aren’t you, Mum? Of knowing the truth?’
‘You’re probably right, Mary-Kate, but the past few weeks since I left home have been rather a roller-coaster. Perhaps one day I’ll want to know, but like you, it’s only those that I love and that love me – my family – that really matter, and I’m quite happy with the one I’ve got, especially after just meeting them all again.’
‘Yeah, I understand completely, Mum.’
‘I’m sorry if that sounded like I was commenting on any feelings I have about you and your adoption,’ I added quickly. ‘I swear that these are completely myownfeelings. Even if this bunch of sisters has a missing one, which they now think might be me, I can’t cope with another family just now.’
‘I get that, Mum, and please don’t apologise. It’s actually Jacko that seems keen to find out stuff. Remember, if youarerelated – or your story is anyway – to this other family, then he might be too, because he’s your and Dad’s biological son.’
‘Actually, you’re right,’ I said, suddenly feeling terribly selfish. ‘Just because I’m not interested in knowing, doesn’t mean he isn’t. Thank you, sweetheart, for pointing out that this is Jack’s history too. And yours.’
‘No problem, Mum. Well, I’m with him – I’d like to get to the bottom of all this. It’s like the best mystery ever! I know exactly where Jack is at the moment, and it’s totally up to you if you want to come along and see this house. We’re gonna go take a look – whoops! That must be Jack, checking in from Clonakilty.’ Mary-Kate swooped to answer her mobile. ‘Hi, Jacko, yup. Okay, I’ll ask her. I’ll be in the lobby in half an hour.’ She put the phone down.
‘So, we’re off to see Argideen House. Wanna come along?’
‘Why not?’ I answered with a grim smile.
‘I know exactly where it is,’ I said to Jack as we set off. ‘We don’t need the satnav.’
‘Okay, I just got the feeling that maybe you weren’t up for it. Sorry, Mum,’ he added, turning the satnav off.
‘No need to apologise. How was Ambrose?’
‘Much more jolly than he was when I first met him in Dublin. You did a good thing there, Mum. I saw our Aunt Katie when I arrived at the home and she said she’d call when Ambrose wanted to be collected.’
‘Okay. Turn right here, Jack,’ I directed. ‘Where were you this morning?’
‘Oh, just around Clonakilty.’
‘How is Ally? Mary-Kate said you spoke to her last night.’
‘She’s good. All the rest of the sisters are arriving for the cruise in the next few days. Their boat is sailing down from Nice to Greece on Thursday morning.’
‘That’s nice,’ I said. ‘Okay, right round the roundabout and then follow the road until I tell you different.’
We sat in silence for a while, so I looked at the countryside speeding by. I felt numb, as though my brain had switched off, because it simply did not want to know or be involved with the place where I was being taken. As if somehow, seeing it and knowing that I was connected to it would change my life forever. That it mattered.
And I so didn’t want it to.
‘Turn right here,’ I almost barked at Jack.
Stop it, Merry! Remember, you’re here for Jack, for your son. It’s his story too...
The lane twisted, turned, then became narrower as we drove towards Clogagh.
At this moment, I felt it was a metaphor for my life:
What if I was to turn left instead of right in my own life at this moment? Is all life simply a series of twisting and turning paths, with a crossroads every so often when fate allows humanity to decide their own destiny...?
‘Mum, where to now?’
The road had narrowed even more as we arrived at Inchybridge and I told Jack to keep going a little further, then turn right.
‘That’s the stone wall which is the boundary to Argideen House,’ I announced.
‘It goes on for miles, Mum,’ said Mary-Kate from the back.
