Page 117 of All Right No
“I’m here,” he said after an excruciating pause, his voice so quiet she could barely hear it over the jackhammering of her pulse. “I’m not sure why, but I’m here, and I’ve gotta confess, I’m not entirely sure if it’s a good idea.”
“Oh. Okay,” she sighed. This was already going badly. Though what the hell did she expect, they were never going to clear the air with one conversation. She’d hurt him too deeply. Instead of giving him the sort of Christmas he’d always want to remember, she’d soured the whole season, destroyed his chance to be with his family and she was clearly doing a fucking awful job of apologising. As if you could ever really fix anything with three little words.
Or maybe you could. She had to believe you could. The thought of what they’d shared being over forever was unbearable.
“I’ve done nothing but think about you since you got out of that cab. Ash, I really fucked things up, I know that, and I wish I could say I kept you out of the loop for a sensible reason, but—”
“Don’t,” he insisted. “Please, stop. I can’t. It’s too much; the wound’s still too raw.”
Oh shit!Dani was right in her prediction, he was going to hang up and she’d have blown her chance. If they were going to talk this out, they did need to do it face to face.
“Just…just give me a chance, please… Please. I really want to fix us.”
She waited with her heart in her throat, and chills running through her limbs for his response.
“I don’t know if I can trust you. I’m not sure I even know who you are.”
Ginny shuddered at the level of despair in his voice.
“I’m the same woman you fell in love with. The same woman who still dreads the phone ringing in case it’s someone calling to inform me you’ve been admitted again,” she said, desperate to kindle some kind of—any kind of—hope. “Ash, I married Miles when I was a child. I’m not that naïve girl anymore. I’m not yet the woman I want to be, but I’m working on it, and secrets and lies are not going to be part of who she is. You might not want a promise from me, but that is a promise.”
“You’ve made promises before and haven’t kept them.”
“What promises?” She’d promised to love him; to marry him. She hadn’t broken either of those. She still did, and she wanted to.
“You were supposed to show me how to spot thieves, so that I didn’t keep losing stuff.”
“We never went anywhere where I could point them out. There are probably a few around wherever you are now. They’re quite easy to spot. They’re normally the ones keen for your assistance, or to be friendly, or who want to get hands on. Also, you realise you only gave me one guitar lesson. I backed your address book up to Google. I think we’re even on that one.”
“Perhaps we are. You weren’t very good at guitar. Your stance was awful.”
His stance still was. She’d seen clips of several of the gigs on social media. He still held his guitar as if it was in the process of electrocuting him, but God did he make that instrument sing. “Maybe we could work on it the next time we meet.”
“Maybe.”
That resulted in a more positive response than she’d hoped possible. He hadn’t blanket ruled out the prospect of them meeting up.
“I need to go now, Ginny.”
“Prep to do?”
“Xane wants to jiggle the set around a bit. He’s trying to make Liam more comfortable, though I’m not sure how mucking with the order of things is going to help. The guy steps on stage every night looking like he’s been dowsed in flour, and not down to special effects. Still, since he’s way less exhausting a band mate than Elspeth ever was, I’m showing willing.”
“Right, then I’d better say goodbye.”
“Farewell,” he corrected her. “I’ll call again.”
***
Ash did as promised, but not until another four days had passed, during which span both Black Halo and Ginny had relocated several times. Tonight, Black Halo were performing in the Polish capital before heading into Austria in time for Valentine’s Day. Ginny’s nails had been sacrificed to the gods of time in the process. Every one of them was now bitten to the quick. Dani had assaulted her with a packet of falsies only an hour earlier.
“He’s mislaid the phone is all,” she’d kept telling herself, and in fact that was the first thing he confessed when she cradled her mobile against her ear desperate to hear his voice.
“…so, anyway, it eventually turned out it wasn’t stolen, just hiding inside one of Liam’s shoes.”
“Did changing the set around help him?”
“What…? Oh, no, not really. Basically, he’s just not cut out for the big time. He’s a great musician, but he’s stiff as a board on stage, and he’s obviously not enjoying it. Nor is he integrating with the band in the way Luthor has. Whenever we can’t find him, he’s with the roadies.”
