Page 4 of All Right No
“I wasn’t born yesterday.”
“—but, and here’s the rest of the truth you’re so insistent on hearing, the band’s still shaky. Part of isolating ourselves here is to work on correcting that, but who knows if Elspeth will even show.”
“So it’s not so much being dropped as the band splitting I should be concerned about?”
“That’s something we should all be concerned about. The situation’s way better than it was six months ago, but we’ve all got less tolerance for shit these days. Leastways, I have, and Xane’s a loose cannon. Seriously, we’re about one more disaster away from implosion.”
“So what is it I’m supposed to do? Keep a low profile so that people don’t notice I’m only capable of doing a Bez and playing maracas?”
“Don’t cause unnecessary discord. And see the consultant. The best choice of the bunch is located in Stockholm. I can drive you there if she agrees to see you.”
“Right,” he agreed miserably.
Spook gave him another of those shoulder squeezes he was beginning to hate. “Good man.”
Ash winced. Spook might as well have patted him on the head and called him a good boy, and he hadn’t even specifically been agreeing to go. “Just as long as you realise she’ll probably suggest the same combination of dietary advice, pointless exercises, and pill popping that the team at the hospital already have me on.”
“She might surprise you.”
“Surprises aren’t what any of us need, not after months of feuding and drama.” He was already in danger of being the wafer thin mint that caused Black Halo’s total destruction, and Spook staring at him as if he’d grown an extra head kind of confirmed he thought so too.
“What?” he enquired. “If there’s something else, just fucking tell me.” His language had got way worse over the last month, but he’d not had to curb his tongue around his mother for yonks, and continual frustration led to impatience, led to him not giving too many fucks. “If you’re going to confess to breaking your code of conduct in order to bang my girlfriend, then save it.”
Spook rolled his eyes heavenward. “Maybe you should lie down and get some rest.”
“I’m not tired.”
“Is that so?” Spook remained poised with his arms crossed, and an ‘I always know best’ look on his face.
Maybe the bastard even had a point, as it took Ash at least thirty seconds to realise it wasn’t only his fingers that were playing up again. He was slurring his words too, or else making them run altogether in a jumble. Probably the latter.
Well fuck! Fine, he’d go stew in a dark and private place, where his lack of control over his own tongue wouldn’t offend anybody. Being released from hospital wasn’t turning into quite the cause for celebration he’d anticipated.
“Ash.”
“I get it.” He buttoned his lips up tight and swung away from Spook to stomp around to the side door. Looks like he was right back where he’d been when he’d first woken post nosedive. It had taken him several days then to realise that people couldn’t always understand what he was saying. At first he’d assumed the language barrier was the issue, but that didn’t make sense when it came to talking to Ginny.
The reality was that when he got tired or stressed his words had a habit of splicing themselves together, or else ending up as some cabbaged string of nonsense.
Ash marched straight through the boot room and into the room he and Ginny were sharing. He meant to walk straight into her arms as well, but she wasn’t there, which left him reeling in the middle of the strange room, heart pounding nineteen to the dozen and tears welling in his peepers.
He was a fucked up mess, that’s what he was, and it wasn’t his girlfriend he needed so much as his mam, or at least somebody to convince him that everything would be all right.
Ash limped over to the bed, and sat with his head in his hands, wondering if the urge to vomit over his own shoes would ever pass. “Where the hell are you, Ginny?” Couldn’t she tell he needed her?
