Page 71 of Reflex
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Spook sat on the stone bench.His arse chilled, and his blood boiled.Alle was pissed at him.Undeniably, really fucking pissed off at him.He wasn’t pissed off at her.Not really.All she was doing was pushing for what they both wanted.In his book, that made her anger at least a tad justifiable.
Obviously, he wasn’t under any obligation to dole out punishments to her, but they both knew he was throwing objections out there more or less to ensure he’d have a reason… some reason… any reason, not to risk getting too wound up in his attraction to her.
And he was attracted to her.
The woman was like a chain around his throat.
He hadn’t a clue what the play was about.He could converse and read French well enough to get by, but following a dialogue-intensive performance while his head was in a different space altogether—not a chance.It was very French.He knew that much, and pretty much nothing else.Not even the main protagonist’s name.His mind had been laser focussed on Allegra Hutton the last ninety minutes, ever since they’d taken their seats in the stone amphitheatre.On things like tying her up and using his tongue on her.Or the vibrator he’d made, using one of Ginny’s ‘Make Your Own Moulds’ to make her come until she literally flopped from exhaustion.Or, striping the backs of her thighs with the leather of his belt, while tormenting her nipples with some decorative clamps.Or fucking her so that she screamed and came so hard that she squeezed his cock in a way that milked him goddamned dry.
Not that indulging any one of those fantasies was a realistic proposition.He didn’t have the vibrator with him, or any clamps, and if he fucked her he was doomed.Guaranteed.
If he started, he wouldn’t stop.
However, he wasn’t content to let this gulf between them endure either.
Fuck it.The discord offended him on so many levels.He prided himself on being a fucking gentleman, and she was shivering.He could see the goosebumps on her arms.Neither of them had come out with a jacket.It hadn’t been a pre-requisite in the sun, but now that daylight had faded, the breeze blowing in off the sea was no longer quite so welcome.Combined with the cold stone beneath them, he was freezing his nads off, and that was through a layer of denim.Alle was dressed in a tiny slip of a dress.
She hadn’t looked at him once.Not when he’d shifted, or pointedly positioned his attention elsewhere.
You know it’s fucking stupid how you’re so damn terrified of what she’s offering you.In particular, because you want it.
Xane was silently berating him again.Fucker had imprinted himself in Spook’s brain the other night, and he wouldn’t flippin’ shut up.Probably because he was right.
God’s truth, he did enjoy being with Alle.Strolling around hand in hand, trying on hats, and pointing out trinkets in the shop windows with her earlier had been more fun than he’d had in months.She was crazy easy company.Exactly as she had been during their many, many late night chats.She’d saved him from serious amounts of boredom while touring.
Here’s your chance.Take it, fuckwit.And don’t feed me that crap about you not being sexually motivated.I know it’s an outright lie.
All he had to do was trust her as he’d done that morning.What she’d done had been hot as hell, and she’d respected his lines.Seriously, what was so wrong about warming her arse, if that’s what she wanted him to do?She wouldn’t have a problem with him taking pictures.She hadn’t the last time.
You’re just terrified of giving in and realising there’s no resultant cataclysm.That what you’ve been anticipating is a fallacy.
It was no longer Xane, but his own voice lecturing him now.
They’re very different people.Nothing much in common at all.
Alle had her head very firmly and correctly set upon her shoulders.She was strong.Feisty.If he stepped beyond what she considered acceptable behaviour, she’d probably deck him.
Hurt me, Jan.
Please.I want you to.
He shook his head, in a bid to dislodge the memory.
He was capable of self-control.Hadn’t he proved that time over?
Do you ever think about breaking bones?
“No!”Of course he fucking didn’t.“You need help,”he told the ghost of a woman lurking in his head.“Leave me alone.Can’t you allow me the chance to be happy?”
“I made you happy.”
Had she?At the time he might have agreed.Looking back, he wasn’t so certain.It was more accurate to say they’d been locked in a pattern.He’d been a slave to his hormones and emotions.And way too damn eager to please.
He was a very different person now.
Build trust.
