Ronnie: It’s scary. He used it to fasten Ash’s balls to a tree earlier.
Allegra: What?
Ronnie: Balloons. I meant balloons.
Allegra: Have you been drinking?
Ronnie: Obvs. It’s Ash’s birthday.??????????
Allegra: Happy Birthday to Ash.
Allegra: Tell Xane to let Spook have his phone.
Ronnie: I’m not sure I wanna do that right now. He’s a bit busy bafumpering.
Ronnie: Just to clarify. Not wif Spook.
Ronnie: I didn’t kiss him either. In case you thought I’d be that rotten a friend.
Ronnie: Is he a nice kisser? I like tongue. Lots of tongue. Does he do good tongue?
Allegra: Ask Xane. I’m sure he’s had more first-hand experience than me.
Ronnie: Okay.
Ronnie: Hang on. You didn’t really mean I should ask Xane, did you?
Ronnie: Did you know that the longest strawberry lace was 2011m long?
Ronnie: And bi in bisexual doesn’t mean men and women? Mindblown!!!
Ronnie: Cock rings are fascinating.
Allegra: Stop drunk texting me.
-35-
Xane
13thJanuary
Sigh.
You know this is my phone, right?!! You filthy beast.
-36-
Allegra