Page 34 of Refrain
But she did. How could she not?
Alle woke to full sunlight on the living room sofa the next day and the thump of someone bumping something heavy down the stairs. Still rubbing sleep from her puffy eyes, she made her way into the hallway. Ewan’s camera cases were stacked by the front door, and he was manoeuvring a suitcase down the bottom few steps. “Where are you—”
“Africa.”
“Since when?”
“Since now.” He gave his beard an uneasy scratch.
Ewan’s trips were normally planned months in advance. There’d been no mention of him having anything planned, so this had to be a last-minute decision, brought on by her bonfire.
“Where in Africa?”
“Kenya, then south through Tanzania and Mozambique, ending in Madagascar.”
So, not a quick tour. He was likely to be gone several months. “Were you going to tell me?”
He didn’t look at her, choosing to busy himself with luggage labels instead. “My itinerary’s on the fridge.”
“I see. And your cat?”
Finally, she got him to look up. “Book her into a cattery if you really can’t manage. I’ll transfer the money.”
“I never said I wouldn’t.”
“Well, the option’s there.” His phone screen lit. “That’s my ride.” He snatched his coat from the banister and put it on.
“That’s it, you’re just going?” Of all her brothers, Ewan was usually the most reasonable. He was the gentle giant. The rock solid constant. The one always ready with a willing ear and a big brother hug to soothe all her troubles away. But, now even he was abandoning her.
“Alle.” He shook his head. “It’s for the best. You don’t… I can’t—I won’t take sides, so it’s better I’m not here. I don’t want to argue with you, and I don’t want things to fester. If we’re constantly in one another’s pockets, that’s exactly what’s going to happen. I don’t condone anything that Marshall or Flynn have done, but they’re still my baby brothers. I’m not going to disown them, and I can’t stand by while you seek ways to pay them back.”
“That’s not…” That wasn’t what she intended to do. Not exactly.
“I know you don’t want to hear it, but you need to find a way to move on, Alle. You can’t wait around forever for him. I think we all understand well enough now why he’s absented himself from your life.”
Tears prickled in her eyes at his words. “I can’t believe you think I should just give up.”
He reached for the door latch. “I’ll be off grid, so don’t bother trying to call. If it’s really urgent, you know the drill.”
She did and that it was unlikely to do a goddamned thing. It hadn’t brought him running home when their dad was ill. It’d taken the loss of his toes to frostbite to do that. Her relationship woes weren’t going to get him on a red-eye flight, not when he was leaving when he already knew she needed him to be here.
He paused on the threshold, cases in hands. “Do yourself a favour, Alle, find yourself a less complicated man.”
Ewan left. She watched him get into the taxi and drive away.
-15-
Spook
November 23rd, 4:47p.m. Scotland.
The knock came two minutes later than yesterday and four minutes earlier than the day before.
“I have your package. If you could sign right… there.”
A stubby, nicotine-stained finger drummed against the greasy screen of the tablet, pointing out the box where Spook was expected to sign. Maybe once, there’d been a stylus, but no more, so Spook made do with his fingertip. The result bore little resemblance to an actual signature, but no one seemed to care. Three days ago, he’d drawn a skull and crossbones. Today he was content with a worm.
Back in the kitchen, he unpacked the veggies onto the crowded countertop. Maybe later he’d throw them into the fridge or cook something. The immediate priority was the one item of gold amongst the green leafy stuff. Spook palmed the smaller box and took it with him to the fireside. Carefully he withdrew the bottle. He already had a glass ready on the hearthstone.
