Page 56 of Refrain
Spook reached backwards, and clasped his hand, then held it steady against his shoulder. “I know. I saw enough of it. You’re not just an attention whore. You’re a people pleaser.”
“It’s simpler than that. Getting off is fun. Getting other people off is fun. It’s strange to me that other people don’t want to get off as much as I do.”
“I think some of them probably would like to.”
“Right?” He swallowed down the lump in his throat. “You know, you probably know most of my kinks already. It hardly seems worth listing them.”
“Being bitten. Fucking multiple people one after another. Being pushed about in a way that you can rail against,” Spook rattled off, which pretty much summed it up. “Tell me something that gets you off but that you haven’t done. Assuming there is anything.”
Xane considered a moment, while he worked a circle over Spook’s fingers with his thumb. This was the sort of conversation you usually only had while drunk, when alcohol had lubricated your tongue and deadened your inhibitions. His gaze strayed to the line of Scotch bottles on the mantel, but he didn’t need alcohol to be who he was with Spook. “Vampire orgy. Being at the centre of a circle jerk.”
“You mean like catching all the—”
“Yeah. Gross right?”
“Nah, I’m not yucking your yum.”
And that’s what made him fucking special. Although, based on the repetitive hitching of his shoulders, Spook was tickled by the admission.
“Are you laughing at me?”
“No. Wouldn’t dream of it. Okay, maybe a little,” Spook admitted, the warmth of his mirth audible in the lilt of his voice. “I bet you imagine they’re all doing it ’cause they’re hot for you, right?”
Xane freed his fingers and flicked the side of Spook’s neck. “What can I say? Total attention whore.”
They sat a moment longer, silence settling like a cosy blanket. It was no longer awkward in the way it’d been moments before. They’d relaxed into the familiar comfort of long friendship. Xane sank his hands into the soft silk of Spook’s hair. He made some circles on his scalp, before settling into carding the long strands.
“I’ve never actually come over someone while they were sleeping,” Spook said, circling back to what he’d blurted outside. “Because you know…consent. That’s actually vitally important to me.” He seemed to chew over his thoughts for a while. “I like dishing pain, but it’s… it’s more about control. Sleep implies complete vulnerability. Plus, it’s less physically exerting than hunting someone down and coercing them into surrender.”
“If we were a thing,” Xane said. “I’d totally give you permission to splatter me, awake or asleep.”
That did earn him a bark of honest laughter. “Fuck, but you’re good for the soul, Xane Geist. There’s not a pervy thought anyone ever had that fazes you.”
“That’s me, the ultimate crowd pleaser.”
Spook tipped his head back, so he was peering at Xane upside down. “At this minute, more like the ultimate cock tease, but you’re appreciated nonetheless.” His expression sobered, lips thinning as his smile faded away. “Did you call someone, Xane?”
He nodded. No point hiding it when it’d be apparent soon enough. “Luthor, and brace yourself, but he’s joining us. I’m sorry, I know you’d rather—”
“It’s fine.”
It wasn’t. It ought to have been negotiated.
“You need your support network. Dani too, or just Luthor?”
“Just Luthor,” he confirmed.
“I’m surprised you’ve managed this long, to be honest, considering you crack up if you’re not being nailed regularly.”
“You know I don’t actually bottom that much.”
Spook hummed, clearly dubious.
“It’s true.”
“Yeah, well I guess with three of you, there’s plenty of options for playing switcheroo.”
An emotional spear pierced Xane’s heart, fastening him to the chair back. He choked on the bile it produced and fought to straighten his expression. Thank God they weren’t facing, because he was certain his response was etched into his features, and he didn’t want to derail the conversation into territory that was frankly best avoided. Having swallowed hard, he focused on carding Spook’s hair again. It worked well as a focus.
