Page 83 of A Devilish Element
“Only because Linfield demanded it.”
“And you didn’t object. You didn’t spare a single thought for how it might affect me.”
“I had no notion that you were that enamoured of him.”
“You knew it. You just chose not to acknowledge it when it mattered. In any case, do you not see how that plays into this? If it weren’t for your condition, then you might not have been so ready to do his bidding, and you might have fathomed the truth of what manner of man you’d married.”
Jane’s mouth rounded into an angry O. She crossed her arms and set to rubbing their uppers. “He did ask that of me, and I did agree for exactly the reason you state. Why would I not? It was to be one occasion. Mr Whistler wasn’t going to touch me. And really, Eliza, I know everyone believes me simple, but I thought you knew better. It’s obvious that Mr Whistler is of the same inclinations as my husband, so it’s not as if anything would come of your affection for him, anyway.”
“You don’t know that.”
Jane sighed wearily. “I realise it’s a shock to find out that he’s… well, that he’s unnatural, but do you really mean to punish me for that?”
“I’m not punishing anyone.”
She’d been ready to give everyone involved the benefit of the doubt, right up until the point where she’d witnessed them fornicating outside the dining room. Keeping her head held high had been one of the toughest things she’d ever had to do. Looking at that beloved face, and seeing his guilt painted right across his features; it’d near hollowed her out completely. She’d wanted to shriek at him. To stamp her foot and succumb to the sort of rage her sister Maria would have displayed.
Only, she wasn’t Maria. Nor was she Caroline, who would have swooned for definite, and then fallen into the deepest most desperate despair. Or, Joanna—stoic, loyal Joanna, who only ever cried on the inside. She was Eliza Wakefield. The sensible one. The practical one. The backbone of the family. The one everyone turned to. The one who stood firm when others faltered. She’d come here to support Jane in her new life as a member of the nobility, and that was what she would continue to do.
“I had no inkling of Linfield’s inclinations until this afternoon,” Jane confessed. She was worrying her skirts into knots, making alarming creases in the sheer fabrics. “If I’d had even the smallest notion of it, then I would never have agreed the match.”
Of course she would not. Marrying had served a single purpose for Jane. Security for herself and the baby another man had planted in her belly. A man she still refused to name.
“You ought to be relieved, Eliza, that you shan’t now be fooled in the same way. Not that you would have been. You’re too clever for that.”
She had only a sigh to give in response. “It’s not important now.”
“I’m sorry, Eliza. You’re right, I allowed myself to be extremely selfish. I did know you liked him, and I ought to have stood up to Linfield and insisted he do his husbandly duties without assistance.”
What did it matter? It wouldn’t even happen anymore, and she ought to be pleased that she’d discovered Jem’s deceit before their lovemaking had progressed any further. In truth, it was only his restraint that allowed her to say that. She’d been only too willing to play the silly fool and have him thrust himself inside her.
“He’s not the man I thought him to be. He’s just another scoundrel like all the rest.”
Jane sighed and rested her hand on Eliza’s cheek. “We’re both dunces, and I, silly fool that I am, have let everyone know I’m with child when it would have been wiser not to do so.”
“You did rather blurt it out.”
“I did, didn’t I? As I said, I’m a thorough ninny.”
Eliza swallowed the hard lump in her throat. “You’re not. Not really. You’d had a shock. We all had. Everyone’s humours were up.”
Eager for whatever manner of accord they could come to, Jane nodded eagerly. “Do you believe what Doctor Bell said, that some undiagnosed malady took him?”
Eliza swayed her head. “No,” she admitted. “I think he said that to make sure the magistrate wasn’t summoned. I think his first suspicion was likely the same one the rest of us formed—”
“Poison?”
“Poison.”
“So, there’s a murderer amongst us?”
“Perhaps,” Eliza agreed. “Is it discomforting that I find that notion easier to reconcile than Cedarton having a genuine white lady walking its halls?”
“A little, perhaps. Eliza, do you think we might agree that neither of us did him in? Only, it will make our continued friendship a good deal easier to manage if we do.”
“It will, and very well. Do you wish to shake hands on it?”
Jane offered up hers, and they sealed their pact like gentlemen.
