Page 53 of Ember Meadow
His hand grips mine as we walk, and I find myself fixated on it. We fit together so perfectly, it’s almost like it’s meant to be.
No, we can’t be meant to be. I don’t do meant-to-be. I need to get a grip on myself. I like him way too much. This isn’t good.
But, as soon as he looks back at me, wavy hair falling in his face, five o’clock shadow just starting to show, joy sparking in his eyes like a burning flame, I know I’m a goner.
The memory clears, and I’m left standing in the hallway again. I mentally tally the amount of beers I’ve had so far. Three, I think. Am I so exhausted I’m starting to have hallucinations? Did I eat something bad?
My worries are interrupted the second the doorbell rings. Closing the rest of the distance in the hallway, I open the door to a smiling Codie and Parker on the other side. Parker is wearing a long sleeve plaid shirt, even though it’s approximately eight hundred degrees outside.
“Sorry I’m late! I stopped by the store to grab some snacks and drinks. Look who I found in town on my way over here,” Codie says with a grin the size of Texas, nodding towards Parker. “Not sure what you have, but I brought Tequila.” She shakes a bottle of Tequila in his hand, with two shot glasses balancing on the top.
“Well in that case, come on in,” I reply, stepping out of their way. “Guys, Codie brought us shots!”
A few hollers come from the living room as Codie walks in, Parker trailing behind her laughing. I’m sure Morgan will be thrilled. I could use something stronger too. Something to get Miles off my mind for the rest of the night. I deserve one night without thinking about him and his stupidly frustrating effect on me.
Since we are halfway through renovating this cabin, there aren’t any glasses anywhere, so we drink shots out of our empty beer cans while we play a card game I don’t know the name of. It involves a lot of fast movements to grab cards, which none of us are in the state to do right now. It’s the most fun I’ve had in a long time.
“Were you waiting for me? You guys clearly were not drunk enough when I got here,” Codie winks.
“You fixed us,” I slur. A bead of sweat falls down my face. I’m burning up in here. It feels like a sauna. “You guys really aren’t too hot? I feel so hot right now. It feels like I’m inside of an oven. And ovens are notoriously hot.”
“No, but if you want we can open some windows,” Erin offers with a shrug.
“Yeah. Yeah maybe we can get a breeze in here,” I nod. This sounds like a great plan. I am on board with this plan.
Parker and Hunter stand from our picnic blanket on the floor to open the windows in the living room. A cool draft blows in, which helps a tiny bit, but not enough. I reach down and touch my skin. It’s pretty red. White marks stay for a few seconds after my fingertips leave my skin.
“Are you okay, Katie?” Codie says, putting her hand on my forehead. “You’re burning up. Do you have a fever?”
“No, I don’t think so. I feel fine. It’s just so hot in here.” I take the hair tie I always keep in my front pocket up, twisting my hair into a high ponytail on top of my head.
“Here, drink some of my water. You could be dehydrated,” Erin offers.
That must be it. Erin is a genius. I take a few swigs of the water and wait for it to kick in. I’m not sure if that’s something water does, but I’m willing to try.
“I’m going to go splash some cold water on my face.” I stand up, a little wobbly, and head to the bathroom.
The cold water feels great. I dry off my face and stare at my reflection for a couple of minutes, trying to cool myself down. So far it’s working. Until my vision goes fuzzy again, and I’m right back in Salt Lake City.
Miles stares back at me from the opposite end of the elevator, going up to the twenty-first floor of my hotel. We told each other we were coming back here because it was too loud at the bar. We wanted to talk. To watch a movie. To eat the snacks I’ve stockpiled in my room for this trip. But we both know what’s going to happen the second we get alone.
His eyes travel up my body, leaving shivers in their wake. How is it possible he can elicit such a reaction from me without even touching me? I want to reach out and grab him but I can’t move from where I stand, leaning up against the cold steel wall.
Miles moves towards me slowly. I brace myself for his touch, to be wrapped up in his arms again. I’m a flame burning with a bright glow every time he touches me. My skin feels hot, like I could combust at any second.
My breath catches as he reaches out to touch my cheeks. But right before he can, the elevator dings, startling us both. Miles stops dead in his tracks before looking at the floor. I grab his hand before he can second guess anything and pull him through the door into the dimly lit hotel hallway.
The sound of loud laughter pulls me out of the memory. I may have been cooling down before, but remembering the night we met hasn’t helped at all. If anything, I’m redder than before. I splash water in my face once more for good measure, towel it off, and head back to the living room.
I thought this would take my mind off of Miles. I thought I could have one fun night without being reminded of the amazing night we had four years ago. Without being reminded that we aren’t like that now. Miles has changed. So have I, but not as much as him.
I miss his smile, his laugh, his casual affection. I had him for such a short time. Just a few hours. But he stuck with me all these years. I left the next morning in a panic because IknewI was in trouble.
That I liked him way too much.
He’s dangerous. The way he makes me feel is dangerous. But at least I always remembered him the way he was that night. Happy. Now, I know he’s not. I’ve seen his sadness, his anger, mostly directed at me. Even worse, I’ve seen his struggle watching his dad slowly get sicker and sicker.
Now that I know those sides of him, I’m more likely to wander too close to the fire and get burned.
