Page 79 of Ember Meadow
Loved.
Then, I hear him.
“Hey,” Miles’s rough voice brushes my ear as he hugs me closer to his firm chest. His scruff brushes against the outer shell of my ear, sending shivers up my arms. “How about we take a ride up to Ember Meadow?”
Fireworks go off in all of my nerve endings. I’m wrapped up in his warmth, already burning up from his contact like a heat map everywhere our bodies meet. But, it’s not the urgent need I usually feel when I’m close to Miles.
It’s a comfortable feeling this time. Not rushed. I feel safe and secure, wrapped up in his arms, like I’m meant to be here. My heart bursts with an overwhelming sense of… something. It’s a new feeling, one I can’t quite put a finger on. Like light escaping from the darkest parts of me, bursting out into the air like a firework. I like it. I hear myself giggle, turning around to look at him.
Just as I turn to look into his eyes, the vision goes blurry, then gray again. I blink rapidly, willing it to come back so I can live in that life just a little bit longer. But, it doesn’t.
My chest hollows out, the feeling leaving me so quickly I can barely believe it was there in the first place. I stand in the hot sunlight, feeling emptier than I’ve ever felt in my life. Tears well up in my eyes at the loss of that overwhelming, life changing feeling.
I’m back on the porch steps. It’s the end of summer, and I’m walking away from Miles forever.
“You’re extra quiet this morning,” Hazel hums from the passenger seat of my car.
“I’m just tired.”
She laughs, “I can practically hear you thinking. I’ve literally never seen anyone think as loudly as you. It’s a talent.”
Hazel is right. I’ve been lost in thought the entire drive, replaying the daydream in my mind over and over again. Or hallucination. Whatever it was.
It seriously messed with my head. My brain is self-sabotaging. Right when I’ve finally gotten up the courage to leave and move on with my life the way it was before, I start imagining what it’d be like to have a future here.
It’s like my head knows that the logical thing to do is leave, but it’s killing my heart.
“Is this about Angry Cowboy? Did he say something to you that upset you? We can turn back around and go kick his ass. Although I’m not sure that’d work out so well, but we could at least yell at him. Rough him up a little bit,” Hazel throws a few fake punches into the air.
“No, he didn’t upset me,” I laugh. I shift around in my seat a bit, unused to talking about this kind of thing. For Hazel, sure, but never for me. “I’m just having a hard time leaving, I guess, and I don’t know why. Maybe I spent too much time here.”
“Kate. It’s okay to not want to leave. Most people feel that way when they go to new places and have awesome experiences like you had,” she says. I keep my eyes focused on the road ahead.
My voice is quieter as it comes out. “It’s more than that. I feel like…”I belong here.“I just don’t want to let it go. I don’t want to go back to Juniper Ridge. This has never happened to me before and it’s really freaking me out. I’m not even this attached to my own apartment.”
“Is it Miles?” She asks again.
“No. Yes. I don’t know. It’s notjustabout him. I love my new friends here, I love the mountains and the town and the little coffee shop. I love the sunsets that make the entire sky glow. I love the people. I love the cabin and spending time on the ranch.
“Then there’s him. I feel like I want to melt my body to his every time I’m around him. He drives me insane most of the time, and the rest of the time makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world. I’m just so angry. I was finally getting to know who he really is, spending time with him.
“It was scary, but it was addicting. And then, it all came crashing down. I’m just so upset it all had to end. I don’t know, I’m not very good at describing all of this. I probably sound like a crazy person,” I let out an awkward laugh, and glance over at Hazel.
“How was everything last night after I left?” She asks. I told her this morning that I stayed over at the cabin, but didn’t mention Miles did too. I think I’m still processing everything that happened.
I sigh. “We kind of… spent the night together,” I mumble.
“What!?” Hazel yells. “You were with Miles all night? Did anything happen?”
I feel my cheeks start to heat. Usually I have no problem telling Hazel about anything but this feels different. More real. “Of course something happened, it’s Miles. I cannot be trusted around him. We agreed it was the last time. Well, last few times anyway.”
“Katie!”
“What? I can’t help it. He’s just… him. You know?” I say, looking over.
She’s staring back at me, wide-eyed with a smile bigger than I’ve seen on her in a while. “Oh my god,” she spits out after a few seconds. “You’re in love with him.”
“I am not,” I roll my eyes.
