Page 30 of Hush Money
I try to swallow back the tears, but this gets them flowing. I can’t not be emotional about this. I’m so…angry.I’m so angry about all I went through tostillnot have had a baby. I’m so angry that my marriage is ending the way it is. And I’m so angry that Tanner used my own infertility as a tactic to hurt Keaton without giving me the decency of bringing that up myself.
I move so that I’m sitting on the coffee table in front of him and let out a long, shaky breath.
“That part is true,” I say. “We tried for over three years. Nothing stuck, even after all the shots and harvesting and everything else. It took so much out of me. The doctors told us to keep trying, but when we couldn’t get pregnant, he started drinking more…so I stopped my treatment without him knowing and started taking my birth control again, just in case.” His eyes are locked on me now, and I can’t read the expression in them. Something between despair and rage. “There are still a few embryos left,” I say, my voice quivering again, “but the truth is…I…I don’t know if I could go through all that again. And if I did, it couldn’t be with him. I don’t want a family with him, Keat. Idon’t want a future with him.” I hold my breath after I speak. Because while I’m confirming that I do not want a future with my husband, I’m also admitting that I don’t know if I want to try getting pregnant ever again.
There is a long silence between us for a moment as I try to calm my tears. Finally, he scoots to the end of the couch and reaches a hand out to my face. He swipes my last tear with his thumb, then he puts his other hand on my face and pulls me to him, leaving a long kiss on my forehead. Then he presses his forehead against mine and holds it there for a moment.
“I’m so sorry you went through all that, Eve,” he whispers. I open my eyes, but his are closed tight, like he’s fighting off some demons. He finally comes apart from me and pushes himself to stand.
“I had dinner with my lawyer tonight,” he says. He pulls a business card out of his pocket and drops it on the table in front of me. “If you need him, he will be waiting for your call.” There’s another pause, and I swallow. He takes a few steps past me then turns around. “You didn’t need to apologize to me, Evie. And things between us aren’t as different as you think, because if it were up to me, I’d take you to my bed right now and make you forget you were ever his.”
I look for a smile or a wink, anything that resembles a joke or an attempt to lighten the mood. But there is nothing. Just a stone-cold expression on his face. And then he turns, walks down the hallway, and shuts his bedroom door behind him.
I lie back on the couch, my mouth still open like a dog salivating for a treat.
Holy fuck.
I swipe the card off the coffee table and twirl it around in my fingers while I walk down the hall to the guest room. I plop down on the cushy bed and look at it.
J.G. Krieger, Esq.
I try thinking about the lawyer. About the severity of the situation. About what going through with a lawyer actually means. New life. New name. New living situation.
But all I can focus on are his words and that pretty mouth that spoke them.
I’d take you to my bed right now and make you forget you were ever his.
I close my eyes and try to picture my life without Tanner.
But instead, all I can picture is Keaton.
Those stormy eyes. That sandy hair out of place from me running my fingers through it. Thatbodyhanging over top of me.
Fuck.
I toss the card on the nightstand and slide my hand down under my waistband.
I picture his eyes trained on me again. I imagine his scent covering me. And then my eyes roll back.
KEATON
Idon’t know what finally pushed me over the edge. Maybe it was seeing her rat-faced husband. Maybe it was his words. Maybe it was knowing the dirty details about all that he put her through. Maybe it was her apology. Or maybe a combo of all of it. But I finally had enough of the tiptoeing.
I still want her. I never stopped. I just figured out how to live with it. But now, it feels like I owe it to myself to tell her where I am. To lay it all out. Maybe she will choose the same path she chose before. But at least I know I gave it a shot. I told her where I was. And then I got in the shower and jerked off twice to the thought of it.
Still no wordfrom my brother today, which means no further update. So I’ve been in and out of my study, in and out of a few coffee shops, and in the car with Mac for a few hours today, checking in back home and hopping on a few calls.
I saw her this morning before she left for work, but it was a quick good morning and some small talk while she packed her work bag. I haven’t heard from her since Todd took her in thismorning, and I haven’t reached out. I said what I needed to say. If there are any moves left to make, they’re hers. I’ve checked in with Todd to make sure she’s safe, but other than that, I’m giving her space.
It’s starting to get dark out already when I finally gaze out the window after my last call, and I shut off my computer. But just as I turn my chair toward the door, it opens, and she steps in.
I lean back in my chair as she closes the door behind her. She’s dressed in a tight skirt that accentuates her perfect hips, and her heels click across the wood as she makes her way to me. She gets to the other side of my desk and drops a thick folder on my desk. I look at it then up at her.
“What is this?” I ask. She raises her eyebrows and nods toward it. I lean forward and open the top of the folder, and my eyes home in on the words “PETITION FOR DIVORCE” in thick, black letters. I look back up at her.
“I spent the day with J.G. These are being filed this week, and then he will be served,” she says. My eyes move back and forth across the words again, as if I don’t believe what I’m seeing. Then I lift them to hers. She puts her hands on the desk and leans down over it, giving me a clear shot at her cleavage. I swallow and look back up at her. “Now, make me forget that I was ever his.”
I know I should stop this before it gets started. I know I should have done everything I could to not fall back in love with her again.
