Page 31 of Forever Frenzy
I shook my head. “I like you being here. It makes passing an eternity a lot more tolerable. And whether you like it or not, you’ll always be my kitten. How’s Boots, by the way?”
She chose the high road, avoiding an argument with me about whose she was. I knew she was Saul’s. She always would be. But I also knew she was mine.
“Mercedes says he’s fine.”
I’d sent the cat to her. Similar to the familiars witches used throughout the centuries, I could see through Boots’ eyes. It was a way for me to keep tabs on my son and Porschia when I couldn’t physically be there. Sekhmet had sent a cat before me, but Porschia saw her familiar for what it was and had Ford drown it in the river before Sekhmet could cause any problems.
I started walking into the sun again. Porschia fell into step beside me.
“Why do you walk?” she asked.
“To pass the time. It’s calming.”
“Why am I not starving? Why don’t I wither away in this place? When I was here before, I felt like I was dying. Now, I just feel like I’m part of this place.”
“You weren’t bound to it before, but now you are. Essentially, you have become part of The Sand. You fit now.” Explaining. That was something I had a lot to do, and an eternity to do it in.
“I fit in my world. With Saul. Saul loved me,” she said defiantly.
“I know. As much as I hate admitting it, I’m glad he did. I’m glad he could give you what I couldn’t.”
She made a noncommittalhmmsound and walked along with me for hours. I held the sunset in place for her, watching the vibrant colors warm the tone of her skin.
When she’d gone far enough, she turned around and we began walking back. I let the sun fall, the coolness of night descending around us. “Why do you try so hard?” she finally asked.
“Because I love you.”
“I’m not worth loving, Tage. I can’t love you back,” she said matter-of-factly.
“Not yet, but you will.”
She snorted. “You’ve always been so sure of yourself, Tage. I guess it comes with being the son of the most powerful man in your culture, but you need to understand that this is one thing you can’t fix. You can’t make me love you, like lighting a candle or making a flame.”
“I don’t need to make you love me, Porschia. You always have. I just need to remind you of that.” My pinky brushed hers and she inhaled sharply. “See? Something as simple as the brush of my hand makes you shiver.”
She pursed her lips together, stepping farther away. There was no distance too great, no amount of time I wouldn’t wait for her to realize it. She loved me. She’d never stopped.
She also loved Saul.
It was strange to admit, but I’d accepted it a long time ago.
He had his turn.
I wanted mine.
Night was beautiful here. The sky wasn’t filled with stars unless Tage willed them to be there, but it was a thick, dark blanket; a comfort I couldn’t find anywhere else. I sat outside, lazily swinging in a hammock strung between two palms.
Tage approached. “Care if I join you?”
“We’re stuck here for an eternity. Might as well.”
He smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. That was a shitty thing for me to say.
“I didn’t mean it the way it came out.”
“It’s fine. I get that you don’t want to be here.”
“And you do?”
