Page 20 of Perfectly Naïve
Of course, she’d accuse me of being stupid. Anything to make me feel less than.
Opening a bottle of rosé, I keep my back to her while pouring myself a generous glass. Sweet, fruity scents tease my nose, and I close my eyes, enjoying it. I reallyhavemissed the ability to smell the world around me, even if I also find the additional sense to be somewhat overwhelming as it returns.
“Are you even listening to me?” My mother’s shrill voice disrupts my moment of reprieve.
“How can I help you, Mother?” I turn, leaning against the cool marble countertop, and give her my attention. The bite of the stone against my hip, and the sweetness of the wine, ground me as her eyes flash with annoyance. They buoy me. Helping me keep afloat for the storm that’s coming.
I really forgot how much I hated this when I was out of the country. Though living here is only temporary, it’s already wearing on me. The smart thing to do would be allow myself time to settle back in and reacclimate to life in the States and spend some time looking for the perfect apartment, but I’m not sure I can last here.
“How can I help you, Mother?” my mom says in a high-pitched mimic of my own words.
I try to hide my flinch behind the glass of wine as I take another sip. How is this woman my parent? We have absolutely nothing in common. I’d take a DNA test if not for the fact that I have her nose and the shape of her eyes. The similarities are too stark. As much as it disappoints me—almost as much as I do her—she’s my mother.
“You know exactly what I want to speak with you about, Olivia Rose. The dinner with Pack Johnson. Those nice menare ready to take on an omega, and you couldn’t even be bothered to play nice.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Play nice? We had absolutely nothing in common.” Not to mention, they insulted me half a dozen times in ten minutes.
“Who said you have to have anything in common? Your dads and I have different interests, but we’ve been mated for over thirty years. Alphas are simple creatures, dear. They want an omega who keeps herself in good shape, knows how to cook a good meal, and lets them knot her whenever the mood strikes.” She sniffs condescendingly, as though I should already know what is expected of me. Housemaking and sex. Not that there’s anythingwrongwith all of that, of course. If you want it.
And that’s the thing. Part of medoeswant that. At least, to a degree. But I want more than some rich pack. I want love. I want to feel safe and cared for, something I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced, and I also want to feel supported. I want a pack that won’t ask me to give up my dreams in order to take care of them.
I don’t think that’s asking too much.
“Maybe those things make you happy, but that won’t work for me. You have to understand that we’re different. My research?—”
My mother scowls and cuts me off. “No, you have to understand that there are certain expectations as the only daughter in this family. Your fathers and I have given you more leeway than we should have, and?—”
“Princess!” One of my dads, Darren, sweeps into the room like the charismatic force of nature he is and pulls me into a brief hug, cutting off Mother’s beration. Thank god. “We’ve missed you, kiddo. Settling back in okay?”
Darren gives my mom a kiss on the cheek before opening the refrigerator door and poking his head inside. He hums ashe searches for something to eat. My dads are as elusive as a full moon. They come and go, and if you’re not paying attention, you might miss seeing them. But they’ve always been busy. They practically live for their work.
Why can’t mother understand I want the same?
Avoiding her gaze, I smile at Darren. “Yeah, settling in fine. It’s an adjustment, but that’s to be expected.”
“Good. Family dinner soon? I haven’t seen Henry in ages. It would be good to get everyone together.” He grins widely, completely unaware of the tension simmering between my mom and me. But this is how he always is. Energetic, charismatic, and too busy with his own life to notice what’s going on in his family. Both of my dads are like that.
It used to hurt, the way they’ve always been oblivious to my struggles with her, but over the years, I’ve learned to accept that this is who they are.
“That would be nice,” I say. It earns me a luminous smile. That small expression of affection used to be enough to counteract my mom’s criticisms, and even now it helps soften things, but it doesn’t hold the same power it once did.
“Perfect. Well, I’ve got to run. Love you, kiddo.” He presses a quick kiss to my forehead, then leaves me with Mom.
“Love you too.” I fight to push down the disappointment that squeezes my chest at his quick departure. He hasn’t seen me in a year, and he acts like I never left. Was it always like this, and I’d just been so desensitized that it didn’t register? Or am I simply recognizing how little effort they all put in because, after spending a couple of evenings with Sawyer, I’m finally learning what it feels like to be wanted?
My mom waits until Darren is out of earshot before turning her unimpressed gaze back on me. “Do you even know how much embarrassment you caused me with the omegas at the club? The way you treated Pack Johnson at dinner was all they could talk about.”
Dissociating, my mind wanders as she drones on and on about all the ways I embarrassed and disappointed her.
“And then they said some random alpha interrupted your date? Honestly, Olivia, I almost died of shame. They recognize him, so clearly, you’re associating with men of ill repute.”
Sawyer would love to know my mother called him a man of ill repute, I think to myself, grinning. I’ll have to text him after this and tease him.
“Why are you smiling?” Even my mother’s shrill voice isn’t enough to wipe the smile off my face.
Sawyer saved me from a mortifying situation that night. With our arrangement, we’ve been talking almost every day. He’s helped me feel less alone. And when I manage to forget that he’s probably only humoring me because I’m his best friend's little sister, our conversations make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
That’s without even considering that Sawyer has agreed to teach me all of the skills and perks of being an omega that I’ve been too preoccupied to learn.
