Page 40 of Deadly Games
He took a step forward and my body turned to stone. Here it was. The moment of truth.
“Loki, I’m so sorry.” The words came out hoarse and strained, and I regretted them not because they were untrue, but because they were woefully inadequate. What the hell was sorry supposed to do? Sorry didn’t fix anything.
For a moment, he said nothing. If I dared to meet his eyes, maybe they would have held the answer to whatever he was thinking, but I didn’t. When he pulled me into his arms and held me to his chest firmly enough to crush the breath from my lungs, it felt like the bottom dropped out of my reality.
I didn’t know how to respond, and I found myself paralyzed by confusion. For a few seconds, I couldn’t even remember how to breathe. My heart wanted to sink into his arms and return the embrace I craved more than air, but my brain wouldn’t let me give in to the delusion. Or hell, maybe it was a hallucination. That seemed far more likely than him not hating me.
“I know,” he murmured in my ear, his face buried in my hair. “It’s alright. I know what happened.”
“You do?” I croaked, sounding as pathetic as I was afraid of.
He just held me tighter, and I realized I couldn’t have pulled away even if I wanted to. As far as I was concerned, though, we could stay like this forever and it wouldn’t be long enough. “Helle told us what happened,” he answered, pulling away just enough to cup my face in his hands. The sadness in his gaze was more of a punishment than his rage and hatred would have been. Those, I expected and deserved, but this, I wasn’t sure what to do with. It was a new side of Loki, and the feelings I already had for him were making it even harder to face.
“Helle?” I asked, finally more bewildered by his words than his presence.
“It’s a long story,” Dionysus said, coming to stand beside us. His hand on my shoulder was warm reassurance, and I felt safer between them than I had in days. He glanced around the alley. “We shouldn’t stay here.”
Loki nodded, his arm still around my shoulder as he led me toward the corner. “He’s right. Last I heard, they were searching New York, but they’ll probably get here before long.”
I didn’t need to ask to know who he meant by they. His father. Kunzite. Half the damn world of the gods. For all I knew, Hades and Fenrir were after me, too. The thought was too much to bear, but dissociation had already kicked in and I wasn’t fully aware of how we ended up back at my hotel room.
Dionysus clearly wasn’t impressed by the surroundings, but he draped a blanket over my shoulders and sat on the other side of the sofa. Loki was on my left, and I think he was the one who’d brewed the steaming cup of tea in front of me.
“Drink,” he urged, putting the paper cup in my hands.
I raised the rim to my lips and made myself force down a few sips for his sake. I still didn’t know what to say, and their explanation of what had happened after the earthquake left more questions than answers. At least I knew Fenrir and Hades were looking for me, but not for the reasons I feared.
“I don’t understand,” I said once I could finally get a hold on my racing thoughts. “Why would Thor tell Helle to frame me?”
“We don’t know,” Dionysus said in a quiet tone. “Helle claims she doesn’t either.”
I fell silent, contemplating the words Thor had said before he tried to kill me. I hugged myself, trying to think clearly through the guilt and muddled energy that had been coursing through me at the time. “Before Eris came out, I remember him saying something about Cronus.”
“Eris?” Loki echoed, frowning. “That’s the name you cried out in your sleep.”
This was obviously news to Dionysus, but he said nothing and listened intently.
“I think that’s the name of whatever possessed me,” I admitted, wincing when I realized how crazy that sounded. It was bad enough in my head, but out loud, it sounded like a one-way ticket to a padded cell. “No...not possessed. It’s part of me. I’m still responsible for what I did.”
“You defended yourself,” Loki said, his voice as stern as I’d expected it to be when he found me. “He attacked you, and as far as we know, he did it on Cronus’ order. If you hadn’t killed him, I would have.”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I wasn’t at all sure how to respond. “Loki…”
“I don’t blame you, Kore,” he murmured, his tone softening as he covered my hand with his. “I’m just sorry I wasn’t there to protect you.”
My heart ached, both with relief that he didn’t hate me and guilt for what I’d done to him, regardless. All I could do was apologize and pull my arms around him, holding tight and never wanting to let him go. He held me back and his fingers in my hair were more comfort than I deserved, but I didn’t have the strength to deny it.
Dionysus was the first to break the long, heavy silence, and even though he’d said little, his presence gave me more strength than he could ever know. “We can contact Hades and let them know you’re safe, but I think we should stay here for the night.”
Loki nodded in agreement, already sending out a text. “You need to rest.”
“I’m not tired,” I protested, finding myself led over to the bed regardless.
“If Eris is still in there, you’ll need all the energy you can get to fight her,” Dionysus said, blocking me in on the other side of the bed as Loki slipped in beside me and pulled the covers over me.
“I’m not sure that’s necessary,” Loki mused, sitting back against the headboard. Dionysus and I were both looking at him in confusion, so he added, “Eris only seems to come out when Kore is in danger. Maybe it has something to do with why she was chosen to fight Cronus.”
“That’s a possibility,” Dionysus said thoughtfully.
