Page 9 of Queen
Her words took him by surprise, but they weren’t said in an accusatory tone. It wasn’t really a question, either. She was just stating a simple fact she had come to believe, and while he knew it had to hurt her, she didn’t show it.
“I don’t know what I want,” he admitted. That was as close to the truth as he could give her. “I know I didn’t handle it well, and if I could go back and change it, I would. I’m sorry, Ella. There’s part of me that doesn’t even understand myself lately, and I’m sorry I haven’t been there for you the way I should have been. I wish I could give you more.”
She shook her head, tears in her eyes. “No. It’s enough,” she said, slipping her arms around him. He pulled her in close, letting himself fully breathe in her scent. Whenever she was in his arms, the bond seemed to solidify. To become real, no matter how much he’d tried to convince himself otherwise. “You don’t have to be anything you’re not. Whatever you think I’m going to feel or say… let’s just promise each other we’ll be honest from now on, okay? No more secrets.”
“Yeah,” he said in a low tone, stroking her hair as he pulled her down onto the bed next to him. “No more secrets.”
She nuzzled into his neck contentedly, and before long, he heard her breathing steadily like she was asleep. Bishop lay awake, holding her in his arms, and gave up on any hope of sleeping. He wanted to enjoy this moment while it lasted. While he would allow himself to hold her, and pretend she was really his.
Chapter 6
Ella
Two months later
The coronation was fast approaching, and Ella still couldn't bring herself to accept that Natalia was gone. She seemed to be the only one, considering how excited everyone else at the Academy was for the coronation. It felt wrong, and Ella felt guilty, even though she certainly wasn't looking forward to it herself.
It would help if she knew where Bishop’s head was at. Despite his assurances that everything was all right between them, he still felt a million miles away even when he was in the same bed. He had moved permanently into the same house with her and Axel, and to her relief, they had yet to tear it down or kill each other.
To be fair, between school, preparations for the coronation, and doctor’s appointments, they hadn't been there long enough to have the time.
That afternoon, they were both still in class while Ella had taken off early. Her morning sickness was getting the best of her, and she knew if she mentioned anything to Axel, he would've been there already. The truth was, she just needed some time to think.
After putting away the laundry and doing whatever busywork she could to keep her mind occupied, Ella picked up the gown sitting in a laundry bag that had been delivered earlier that week. She hadn't actually looked at it yet. She figured she might as well in case it needed adjustments. At the rate her belly was growing, she wouldn’t be surprised if she had outgrown it since the last time she'd been to the tailor.
The gown was a splendid silver hue, made of fine silk that cascaded like a waterfall. She reluctantly tried it on, and was relieved when it fit. The empire waist was elegant, and it was the first time she'd worn something during the later stages of her pregnancy that didn't make her feel like a blimp. It was more like a wedding dress than anything, but she figured that was fitting, considering the coronation also marked the day she would be officially mated to Bishop and Axel, despite having been marked by them both already.
Ella had never really dreamed of a wedding, but she still couldn't help but feel disappointment. Not only were things with her and Bishop on shaky ground, and the circumstances of her coronation tragic, but Sterling wouldn't be at her side either. The man who had an equal share of her heart, and might well be the father of her child, would be just another member of the audience.
It made her heart ache whenever she thought about it, but there was no other way. Sterling had his role, and she had hers. Fate seemed to want them together, or at least that was what she told herself, but reality had other plans.
In the stolen moments they took between their respective duties, she was able to indulge the fantasy that they could be together like a normal couple.
She'd once thought becoming Empress would mean being able to do whatever she wanted, but that thought seemed so silly now. Maybe if she was just a stray, she would've been able to be with him after graduation, or at least after a respectable length of time had passed. It would've been a bit scandalous, but only the kind of gossip people forgot about when something new came along. If the truth came out now, it would throw the entire colony into chaos when it was already so fractured.
Ella pulled off the gown and put it back into its bag before changing back into her clothes. She reached into the closet for a sweatshirt since the house was never a comfortable temperature, no matter how she adjusted the air conditioning, and felt a sharp pain in her side. It was strong enough to make her gasp, and when another one hit a second later, she nearly doubled over.
Catching herself against the dresser, Ella took a few deep breaths, trying to assess whether it was just a twinge or something more serious. Her heart was pounding, but that was to be expected.
Immediately, she couldn't help but worry about the baby. She didn't feel anything wrong, and the last ultrasound had been perfectly normal, but it was obvious something was amiss.
Ella went to sit on the edge of the bed and took out her phone to text Axel. He'd probably be in class, so she wasn't sure he would get it. She tried not to alarm him, just sent a simple message asking if he could call her when he got the chance.
Immediately, her phone started to ring.
That was fast.
"I thought you were in class?" Ella asked as she picked up.
"I am," he answered. She heard him shuffling out of the room, shutting the door behind him. He had given up any pretense of caring now that he was so close to graduation. "What's wrong?"
Ella sighed. So much for not setting off the alarm bells. "Nothing probably, it's just… I had this weird pain, and I thought maybe I should go get checked out."
"Pain?" he echoed, his voice immediately growing tight with fear she wasn't used to hearing in it. "Where are you?"
Ella winced, knowing the lecture that was coming. "I went home early. I wasn't feeling great."
"And you didn’t tell me?" he growled. "I'm on my way, just stay put."
