Page 69 of Phishing for Love
In a booming voice, like he’s the town crier, Eric proclaims, “Lisset needs a horse!”
And then he drops to the ground like he’s been shot. Slowly, he gets up on all fours and a bizarre, strangled noise rumbles out of him. It takes me a second to realize he’s trying to neigh.
We all fall into a dumbfounded silence while our gazes take in the spectacle of this blond giant on his hands and knees in front of us. Disappointment streaks across Nathan’s face ashe stares at his hero snuffling the grass. Kate simply appears resigned, as though Eric’s reaction is not entirely unexpected.
Lisset, on the other hand, looks positively delighted. Finally, her rapturous expression declares, an adult who’s not afraid to make a complete fool of themself in the name of fun.
Staring at Eric shuffling around the garden, I realize Kate’s chosen someone who’s the polar opposite of her ex-husband. It also feels as though she’s tipped the scales too far in the other direction.
My dad, looking appalled, glances from Kate to Eric and then back again to Kate. “You voluntarily brought him here?” Dad asks in a whisper. “Nobody blackmailed you?”
“Ssshh!” Kate hisses.
Mom says, “I doubt he can hear us over all the neighing.”
“Who wants a ride?” Eric bellows.
Lisset jumps up and down. “Me! Me!”
Grandma raises her hand. “Me too.”
Mom levels her a stern glance. “There’s no way you’re getting on.”
“Why not?” Grandma complains, her eyes twinkling. “It’s been ages since I rode a man.”
Nathan’s eyes widen and Aaron chokes back a laugh.
Mom drains the rest of her wine.
Eric prostrates himself on the grass. “Up you get, Cowgirl.”
Lisset launches herself onto his back. “Where are my reins?”
“We can loop a rope around his neck,” Grandma suggests.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Aaron biting the inside of his cheek. “Probably not a good idea.”
Always the innovator, Lisset grabs a handful of Eric’s long blond hair and yanks hard. “Giddy-up, Horse!”
Eric winces, but gamely attempts a lopsided trot on all fours around the garden.
“Don’t ask,” I say to Aaron, who’s standing beside me, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter.
“I’m definitely asking.” When he regains control, he asks, “Are all your family gatherings like this?”
“This one seems to be particularly special.”
I sneak a look at his profile. This is the most relaxed I’ve seen him. His eyes crinkle at the corners as he says softly, “I wouldn’t have missed this for the world.”
My gaze is unwillingly drawn back to Eric, whose antics have captured everyone’s attention. It’s immediately clear Kate’s been feeding Lisset a steady diet of Westerns because my niece suddenly digs her heels into Eric’s ribs, urging him to go faster.
But Eric doesn’t speed up. Instead, his face goes white, and he collapses onto the grass with a soft grunt.
“Horse is dead,” Lisset proclaims, her disappointment now matching Nathan’s.
The verdict is bruised ribs. Aaron and Nathan help Eric inside and settle him on the couch in the TV room. Mom makes sure he has ibuprofen and an ice pack to press against his ribs to bring the swelling down. Kate tucks a blanket around him, and Lisset solemnly places a giant carrot on his chest.
“Poor horse,” she says sadly.
