Page 123 of Phishing for Love
“Like Google and GG?” Lisset asks.
“Google is no one’s friend,” Grandma says darkly.
“Definitely not like that,” I say to Lisset.
“A special friend like Eric and Mom?”
Kate bites her lip as she struggles to keep a straight face. “Eric is special to, um, Eric and horses,” she tells her daughter.
Thankfully, Dad interrupts Lisset’s budding career as a lawyer by offering to show Aaron the squirrel obstacle course he’s rigged up in the garden. Aaron slides back his chair, and Lisset leaps to her feet, asking if she can go with them.
“Sure, pumpkin.” Dads ruffles her hair and the three of them meander off into the garden.
Mom pushes to her feet. “Guess I better put the finishing touches on the lunch.”
“I’ll help,” Kate offers.
I make a move to stand, but Grandma says, “Stay, Tess. I wouldn’t mind a chat.”
Mom assures me she has everything under control, and she and Kate retreat to the kitchen.
“How’s work going?” Grandma asks.
I shrug, take a sip of my water. “Oh, you know.”
“No, I don’t, dear. That’s why I’m asking.”
I think of the years stretching ahead of me, arriving at nine to sit in my cubicle to write messages that will undoubtedly be changed, leaving at five like a good little soldier. I think of the stifled feeling that comes over me sometimes, much like how I was feeling with Nathan.
I trail a finger around the rim of my glass as I form my words. “I thought working at a greeting card company, my days would be like cappuccinos. You know, light and foamy. Warm andsatisfying. A sprinkling of chocolate as the finishing touch.” I let out a sigh. “Instead, most of my workdays are like lukewarm flat whites. No hint of sweetness. Just...meh.”
“Why don’t you do something about it then?” Grandma asks.
“What do you mean?”
“You’ve made some hard changes already, moving on from Nathan, starting a new relationship.” Grandma’s eyes turn speculative. “Maybe it’s time to do something about your job.”
My inner voice has occasionally whispered this very same idea to me, and I tell my grandmother what I tell that voice, “I’m lucky to have a job. I have benefits, a regular paycheck. My friends are there. Those are all blessings.”
“They are,” she acknowledges. “Doesn’t mean you should be trapped by them.”
“It’s scary to make such a drastic change.”
“It is,” Grandma admits. “But for so long you plodded along in your relationship with Nathan. Don’t do the same with your job.”
My brow crinkles. “Are you saying I should aim higher? Work for one of the large greeting card companies?”
“Not at all.” She’s quiet for a minute as she frames her reply. “Some people would say I lived a little life. I wasn’t a CEO of a large corporation. I didn’t invent anything. I’m not famous on the internet thing.” Her eyes take on a faraway look. “But I lived big in my so-called little life. I raised three children. I loved fiercely and was loved fiercely in return. I’m kind to people and try my best to help where I can. I did change lives, just not in a way that’s celebrated nowadays.” I reach across the table to gently squeeze her frail hand. “The most important part, though, was that I was happy.” She rests her other hand on top of mine and squeezes back. “Choose happiness, my dear. If your work isn’t making you happy, find work that will.”
I’m turning Grandma’s words over in my mind as everyone slowly filters back to the table.
Before retaking his seat, Aaron plants a brief kiss on my lips and whispers, “You okay?”
I smile up at him. “I’m okay.”
Kate and Mom bring out the food, and in between mouthfuls of salad and lasagna and garlic knots, the conversation jumps from Dad’s genius obstacle course to the latest Brown Oaks gossip to the antics of the naughtiest boys in Lisset’s class.
I notice Kate directing one-too-many questioning glances at Aaron. An uneasy feeling slips over me. What is she searching for?
