Page 80 of Phishing for Love
In a quiet voice, she asks, “After a really crappy workday, why isn’t Nathan here to comfort you?”
I’m silent. He’s not here, because I didn’t call him. It’s telling that he isn’t the first person to come to mind after a day like today.
“Ever since Aaron arrived,” Sofia continues, “I’ve watched you come alive.”
“There does seem to be an energy to you these last two months,” Kenzie admits, almost sheepishly. “You have a glow.”
I groan. Did she have to utter those dreaded words?
Sofia narrows her eyes at me. “Tell me you’re not pregnant.”
“Of course, I’m not pregnant!”
“Okay, then it’s Aaron,” she concludes, a touch of satisfaction in her voice.
“Your logic is nonsensical.”
“Let’s pretend, for just one moment, that Nathan doesn’t exist.”
“But he does exist.”
“I said,pretend!”
“No!”
“Um, Sofia, this feels like a dangerous game,” Kenzie attempts.
“In our Nathanless world,” Sofia continues, as if neither Kenzie nor I now exist, “what do you think of Aaron?”
“I don’t think about Aaron,” I say automatically, which is untrue. He seems to occupy an excessive amount of time in my head, a squatter I can’t seem to evict.
“Bull,” Sofia accuses.
“Okay,” I retort, calling her bluff, “let’s play your game. Let’s say I end my relationship with Nathan.” I ignore her delighted hand clap. “Why is Aaron now the better bet?”
She stares at me with round eyes. “Have you seen the man? He’s gorgeous!”
“Objectively, yes he is, but he’s leaving, remember? It’s a six-month contract and he has four months left.”
She waves a dismissive hand. “A minor detail.”
“If I fall for him,” I say quietly, “that minor detail could break my heart.”
“The two of you would work something out.”
“I don’t want to take that risk.”
“What happened toliving fearlessly?”
My voice is shaking when I say, “Sofia, I will not, under any circumstances, allow myself to end up like my sister.”
“Okay, that’s enough,” Kenzie commands Sofia in the firmest tone I’ve ever heard her use.
Sofia shuts up immediately.
Kenzie slides down next to me on the carpet, her shoulder touching mine in silent support.
“Nathan might not be the most exciting boyfriend,” I say after a lengthy pause, “and we might have lost some of the spark in our relationship, but I can still see a solid, comfortable future with him.”
