Page 96 of Phishing for Love
I tense up. “I have not cheated on you!”
In a chilling voice, Aaron says to Nathan, “Choose your next words very carefully.”
“Hey, you don’t get to tell me—”
“Tess, would you like to continue speaking with him?” Aaron asks calmly, leaving it up to me. I’ll only appreciate the full extent of that question later, when I’m alone in bed and replaying this scene over and over in my head.
I shake my head. An unequivocal no.
Aaron simply levels a look at Nathan. “You heard her.”
I can see Nathan shrinking from the threat in his voice. He lifts his hands, then lets them fall. Finally, he looks at me and in a broken voice, he whispers, “For what it’s worth, I truly am sorry, Tess. I’m sorry I messed up and I’m sorry I hurt you.”
Watching Nathan walk away, his shoulders slumped in defeat, I experience a brief, painful impulse to run after him and comfort him, but I clamp down on it. This must be the emotional equivalent of muscle memory, one I’ll have to unlearn.
I return my gaze to Aaron. “What are you doing here? Are you lost?” I ask jokingly, trying to lighten the tension in the wake of Nathan’s departure.
“Nope,” Aaron says quietly, his eyes lingering on mine. “I’m exactly where I need to be.”
A calm, restful feeling sweeps over me. This is what I need, I think. Someone to take the gloves from me, strap them on, and step into the ring to fight for me.
“Are you heading back to the office?” Aaron asks, shoving a hand through his hair. “Or do you want to take a minute to regroup?”
“I’m not ready to go back just yet.”
“Let’s find a quiet café then.”
Aaron takes a sip of his coffee. “Does Nathan want to get back together with you?” His tone is carefully neutral. “That’s what he spoke to you about in the elevator?”
I cradle my hot chocolate in my hands. “Yes.”
His fingers tighten on his mug. It’s the only sign this conversation is affecting him. “Are you thinking about it?”
“I have no desire to get back together with him,” I answer firmly.
Beth’s Bakery has a seating area in a pretty courtyard that’s accessed from the back of the store. Mevia’s almond croissant is in a takeout box next to me and my custard tart is sitting in front of me. I haven’t touched it, though. Not when my stomach is so full of knots.
“What about when your hurt and anger die down?” he persists. “You might want to work things out with him then.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Are you playing devil’s advocate here?”
“Seems like an appropriate role to play right now.”
“To be honest, I think our relationship was dying before I discovered Nathan cheating. But neither of us had the courage to pull the plug.”
My words hang in the air.
He takes another sip of his coffee. “I kind of picked up on that vibe when you described your relationship with him ascomfortable.”
I keep my eyes on my hot chocolate when I say in a small voice, “I can’t let the blame for our breakup fall fully on Nathan’s shoulders.”
Aaron sets down his coffee cup and frowns at me. “He cheated on you. He’s to blame. End of story.”
“He cheated on me physically,” I concede, feeling the pang in my chest, “but I wonder when he started straying in his mind.”
Aaron is quiet for a few beats. “You consider that cheating?”
“I think so. I mean, I haven’t given it much thought, but when you start having fantasies about another person isn’t that mental infidelity?”
