Page 129 of The Broken Heart Playlist
I remember his words to me:“Kate, listen to me very carefully, I will never, ever physically harm you.”
He promised not tophysicallyhurt me, but it’s as though he knew one day he’d end up hurting meemotionally. Gideon might never have raised a hand to me, but he’s hurt me far more than Oliver ever did.
The strange thing is, despite everything he’s done, I miss him. I miss him so much it makes my bones ache. How do I stop myself from caring about him?
“You’re in a deep season of grief right now, but that’s all it is,” Grandma tells me. “A season. It’ll pass and so will your pain. It won’t go away, mind you, but it’ll get easier to carry.”
Two days later, Aaron and Tess insist I come over for dinner. I agree, knowing if I say no, they’ll probably pitch up at my house anyway. Lisset, predictably, is delighted, if not a little confused by all this unusual social activity.
At dinner, we make an effort for Lisset, keeping the conversation light and centered on all the gossip at her school. After dinner, Aaron helps Lisset with her math homework while Tess and I clean up and talk in the kitchen.
“I’m just struggling to reconcile the Gideon who did so much for us to the Gideon who lied to us for so long,” I say to her as I stack the dishwasher. “It seems inconceivable to me that it was all an act. I mean, what did he hope to gain?”
Tess pauses in her wiping of the counter. “The only one who has the answer to that question is Gideon.”
“I know.”
“Will you be satisfied with never knowing why?”
“No.”
“Then I guess you’ll have to speak to him at some point.”
“I will, but I’m not ready to face him yet.” Because what if I’m so desperate to be with him again that I’ll believe whatever explanation he gives me, even if I suspect it’s a lie?
Tess nods. “I get it. It feels too soon.”
“I think he tried to tell me once, but I shut him down.”
“Only once?”
“That I can remember.”
“He could have tried again,” she points out.
“He could have.”
We finish cleaning up in silence. It took four seasons for me to fall in love with Gideon. How many seasons will it take for me to fall out of love? Or is there just one long, endless winter ahead of me?
Lisset and I are in the car, ready to leave, when she tells me she left her sweater in the living room. Aaron and Tess have already gone back inside. I leave Lisset in the car while I quickly make my way to their front door. I’m about to knock when I overhear Aaron talking to Tess on the other side of the door. I freeze when I hear Gideon’s name mentioned.
“I still can’t get over how Gideon never fought back,” Aaron says. “I punched him and he just took it, like he knew he deserved it.”
Tess murmurs something I can’t make out.
“And there’s something else...” Aaron continues, but his voice fades as they move away and I don’t find out what thesomething elseis.
I turn and head back to the car, not bothering to retrieve Lisset’s sweater.
As I drive home, Aaron’s words—he never fought back—haunt me. When I turn into my street, my eyes involuntarily dart to Gideon’s house. His Jeep is gone from his driveway.
CHAPTER FORTY
I’m straightening the cushions in my living room when I hear whining outside. It’s ten at night. Frowning, I open my front door to discover Uno standing on my porch, his black body quivering in excitement, tail wagging.
“Hey, boy.”
I absently stroke his head while I glance over at Gideon’s house. My stomach drops when I glimpse his Jeep in the driveway. He’s back. It’s been over two weeks since I last saw him and spoke to him. Since he last held me in his arms. Since I discovered the photo of him with my ex-husband.
