Page 114 of The Weight Of Falling
And all three of them are determined to protect me.
He keeps his attention on my face when he says, “You can’t go walking on your own. You don’t answer the door without checking who’s there. You wait for someone to go withyou before you go out. Either myself, Gideon, or Aaron will accompany you.”
I hide my trembling hands in my lap. “This is awful. I’m inconveniencing everyone.”
“No,” Joel says firmly, tipping my chin up so he can hold my gaze. “Don’t apologize. Never apologize for something that is in no way your fault.”
“Kenzie, keeping you safe is not an inconvenience,” Aaron adds, steady and direct. “Not to us.”
“You focus on work and go about your days as usual,” Aaron advises me. “We’ll focus on the threat.”
It’s agreed that Joel will move into my house to keep a closer eye on me.
When Gideon tells me he’s organizing private protection for me, I protest, but he says, “I have the money, Kenzie. And I can’t think of a better way to spend it than on your safety. Kate will agree with me. In fact, Kate would insist on it.”
“I have a good friend who runs a private security agency,” Aaron says. “His name is Lucas Wilson. His guys are good.”
Gideon nods. “Give me his details.”
“Will do.”
Joel drops back on the couch, shame, guilt, and apology flickering across his face. “I was stupid to believe Roy would get bored with his game and finally leave me alone. Stupid and careless.”
“You weren’t careless,” I say softly. “You were hopeful.”
Aaron’s eyes cut to Gideon, a message passing between them.
“How about a cup of chamomile tea?” Aaron asks me, pushing to his feet. “It’s supposed to help calm you. Tess wants one whenever she’s stressed.”
“Okay. Thank you.”
“Coffee, Joel?” Gideon asks as he stands.
“Yes, please.”
Aaron and Gideon head to the kitchen to make drinks, tactfully leaving us alone, sensing we need a moment to ourselves to talk.
And we do. It’s clear to me that Joel is racked with guilt, flogging himself with self-recrimination. I won’t have it. Since the chess piece arrived, a peculiar thing has happened. I’ve discovered a fight in me I didn’t know existed. Yes, I’m scared—I’d be foolish not to be—but a warrior spirit is waking up inside me. Roy Bellings will not intimidate me. And he will not crush Joel with misplaced guilt. I want to fight. For me. For the man I love. And for our future.
I look Joel straight in the eye. “If you could go back and change things so you never met me and I’d be safe, would you?”
He’s silent for a moment. “Yes,” he says at last, his voice rough. “It would tear me apart but I’d have refused that first kiss, walked out of that storeroom, and left the possibility of us behind if that was the price of your safety.”
I nod once. “Now ask me.”
“Kenzie—”
“Ask me.”
His throat works. “Would you change it?”
“I wouldn’t,” I say instantly. “Not for anything.” I rest a hand on his thigh. “These weeks with you have been the happiest of my life. I watched Sofia fall in love, then Tess, then Kate, and I wanted what they had so badly. And I found it with you. The kind of love I dreamed of my whole life.”
I lean in and plant a gentle kiss on his lips. “So no,” I whisper against his mouth, “I wouldn’t change a thing. In that storeroom, which feels like a lifetime ago, I would still steal that first kiss. I would still choose every moment that carried us here.”
His hand comes up to cradle my cheek.
I hold his gaze. “Whatever comes, remember this—I chose you. I chose us. I don’t have a single regret.”
