Page 119 of The Weight Of Falling
I can’t get my body to stop trembling. Joel’s palms on my cheeks are the only part of me that’s warm.
Without looking away from me, his voice a rough rasp, Joel says, “Untie her. Please. I need those ropes off her. I need them off.”
“Hey, Kenzie,” Aaron says, his voice calm over a tight current of anger that isn’t for me. He crouches next to me, bringing his face level with mine. “I’m going to work on these knots at your wrists, okay? You’re in charge. If you need me to stop, I stop.”
“I’ve got your ankles,” Gideon adds in a low, soothing voice. “We’ll get you out of here, Kenzie, I promise.”
Both men seem to know I need the reassurance of their voices, the comfort of their familiar strong faces.
All at once, panic surges, clogging my throat. Who else is here? I don’t want strangers touching me. I don’t want anyone seeing me like this. I don’t think I could bear it.
“There’s no one else here,” Joel says softly, reading my expression. “It’s only Aaron and Gideon and me. That’s all. No one else, I promise.” His thumbs continue to stroke my face, slow and soothing. “Eyes on me, love. Keep feeling my hands.”
I cling to his face, to the strength and steadiness reflected there. He found me. I don’t know how, but he found me.
“Almost there,” Aaron tells me, continuing to work at my wrists with patient, methodical pressure.
“You’re doing so well. Stay with my voice. Stay with my touch,” Joel murmurs. “I’m so proud of you.”
I shake my head, tears spilling from my eyes. “You shouldn’t be,” I tell him brokenly. “I wasn’t brave. I screamed. I screamed just like he wanted me to. I tried not to, but it hurt.”
I hear Aaron’s breath catch. At my ankles, Gideon’s hands go still, then return even gentler, as if he could take the pain away.
Joel’s shoulders go rigid with rage. The devastation on his face will be seared into my memory forever. His eyes flick to my forearms, and I see him fighting to get himself under control.
Aaron lays a steady hand on his shoulder and squeezes. “You stopped him,” he tells Joel, his tone firm. “He can’t touch her again. You’ve already paid him back.”
Joel blinks hard. Then he gives a single, tight nod, banking the fury. Aaron lets go.
Joel’s eyes find mine. “You are incredibly brave,” he says, fierce and sure. “You did what you had to do to stay alive until we found you. You had to bear what no one should bear. I’m proud of you.”
The ropes fall away all at once, and I’m free. Gideon tugs off his shirt and tears it into two strips, handing them to Joel and Aaron. They wrap my forearms quickly and gently, leaving the fabric loose. I still wince.
“Sorry, sorry,” Joel murmurs.
“Almost done,” Aaron says.
“I’m going to pick you up now,” Joel tells me. “I’ll be as careful as I can, but we need to get you to a hospital. I’m not waiting for an ambulance.”
He shifts closer and slides a hand behind my back, easing me carefully off the mattress I never want to see again. He gathers me against his chest and starts walking briskly, Aaron and Gideon flanking him.
I don’t look around. I don’t want to see anything of the place where I had to survive a nightmare. I focus on Joel instead. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat against my ear, the solid feel of his broad chest, the heat of his skin. I let those things ground me. Still, my arms throb and a sharp breath hisses through my teeth.
Joel glances down at me. His face tightens, anguish flooding it. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I’m so sorry.”
“Not your fault,” I mumble. It’s the message I need him to hear and a truth I need him to believe.
We reach the car and Aaron opens the back door. Joel lowers me carefully onto the back seat.
I clutch his shirt. “Don’t leave me.”
I was alone for hours with that mad man. I can’t be alone right now.
“I’ll be right next to you,” he promises. “You won’t be alone. You’ll never be alone again.”
He’s true to his word. While Gideon stays behind at the farmhouse to wait for the police, Aaron slides behind the wheel and Joel sits beside me in the back, holding me close. Neither of us can stand to break contact. I need the comfort and Joel needs the proof that I’m alive.
Emotion swells in my throat. “He killed John.”
