Page 29 of The Weight Of Falling
A new wave of tension surrounds us.
Joel keeps his gaze steady on mine. “You’re not wrong,” he says softly. “I am avoiding personal questions. And you were right to call me on it.”
I blink, caught off guard. Bobby never admitted when he was wrong. While we were dating, I was always the one shrinking my opinions, softening my tone, just to keep the peace.
“If personal questions are out, what do you suggest we talk about?” I ask uncertainly.
Joel glances at his watch. “There’s still half an hour before the movie starts.” He taps his fingers thoughtfully on the table. “How do you feel about silence?” he asks hopefully.
“Like I want to fill it and apologize to it at the same time.”
His lips tilt up a little in what I’m convinced is almost a smile. “Why am I not surprised?” he murmurs.
“I have a better idea.”
“No.”
“You can’t dismiss it without hearing what it is.”
“I already know I’m not going to like it.”
“How about every time you answer one of my questions, I’ll answer one of yours?” I propose, as if he hasn’t spoken.
He folds his arms. The short sleeves of his T-shirt reveal the definition in his arms. “Sounds like my worst nightmare.”
I giggle a little at his appalled expression. “Come on, give it a chance. You can even go first.”
A glimmer of interest lights up his eyes. “Just to clarify, I get to ask the first question?”
“Yes,” I say generously.
“Okay. Why’d you go out with the douchebag?”
I gape at him. “Seriously? That’s your question.”
“That’s my question.”
Now it’s my turn to fold my arms. “That’s not a proper question. It’s too...personal.”
“I thought that was the point.”
I narrow my eyes at him. My mom was right. The beautiful ones should come with a warning label.
“It was your idea,” he says, a little smugly. “If you don’t want to play, silence it is.”
I let out a sigh and stare into my drink. After a moment, I say, “Bobby wasn’t perfect. We weren’t even a great match, but it felt good to be wanted. After a while, you start to convince yourself that all the little moments—sharing inside jokes, movie nights, bad takeout—add up to something.” I shrug, trying to play it off, but my voice still comes out small. “You convince yourself because you don’t want to be alone.”
When Joel keeps silent, embarrassment tumbles through me, followed by a rush of vulnerability. What possessed me to pour my heart out like that? I want to claw the words back, but it’s too late.
I finally gather the nerve to look at him. Sadness clouds his eyes, but he banishes it with a small shake of his head.
“Bobby was no match for you,” he says in a gruff voice. “If you’d stayed together, you would’ve walked all over him.”
My eyes widen in astonishment. “Me?”
“Yes. You.”
“I don’t walk all over anyone.” I’m confused why anyone would think I’m capable of that. If anything, I’m the one who gets walked over. At least, that’s what Tess and Sofia keep insisting.
