Page 46 of The Weight Of Falling
I shake my head at her. “I still can’t believe you hijacked your first dance to put us on the spot like that.”
“I like to do things differently,” she says, her leg bumping lightly into mine. “And I’m still convinced you and Joel are perfectly suited.”
I try to keep my next question light, almost casual. “Why didn’t the two of you ever get together?” I ask Kate.
Her eyes scan my face, like she’s trying to read the complicated knot of emotions I’m still busy untangling. “Where’s this coming from?”
“Curiosity.” I bite my lip. “Mainly.”
She nods slowly. “Okay. Well, besides the fact that I’ve only ever seen Joel as a brother, I always got the sense he was carrying too much of his own baggage to make room for mine.” Her eyes soften. “Gideon, on the other hand, could take everything I threw at him. And still ask for more.”
I go quiet, rotating the stem of my empty wineglass between my fingers while I turn her words over in my head. Kate might be right about Joel, but a part of me wonders if she isn’t wrong too. Joel would have shouldered the weight of her past. But maybe two people with too many scars can’t help but reopen each other’s wounds. Or maybe they fit together where no one else ever could.
Sofia and Tess’s gazes flick between Kate and me.
“What else is going on here, Kenzie?” Kate asks softly.
Feeling all kinds of awkward, I whisper, “I don’t want to be Joel’s consolation prize.”
Kate sucks in a sharp breath. “You’re not,” she says with conviction. “Not even close. I think Joel was drawn to me because some part of him needed to help someone. I was hurting, and he saw that. But I don’t believe he was ever truly attracted to me. He even admitted as such. That’s why Gideon isn’t the least bit jealous about Joel and me working together.”
“And you never asked Joel about his past?” Tess asks Kate.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because asking about his past would have given him permission to ask about mine,” she answers in a quiet voice. “And I wasn’t ready to open that door.”
I don’t know all the details of Kate’s past, but I know enough. Enough to understand the strength it must have taken to walk away from an abusive marriage and start over, with her little girl depending on her.
I reach for her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I’m just really glad you found happiness with Gideon. You deserve that kind of steady, safe love.”
When I start to blink rapidly, Tess stiffens in alarm. “Uh-uh, Kenzie, you softie. Don’t you dare cry or else we’ll all start tearing up.”
Sofia shoots us a disdainful look. “Oh, please. I cry for no one.”
But I catch the slight turn of her head, the quick swipe at her eyes she hopes no one sees.
I swallow hard. “I think I’ve done enough crying to last a lifetime.”
“Which is why you’re in the mess you’re in,” Sofia says bluntly.
“Fake engaged,” Tess adds.
“To a man I’ve known professionally for two years,” Kate continues, setting down her glass. “Who’s never had anything close to a steady relationship. And who, for the most part, is still a mystery to me.”
Sofia gives a thoughtful tilt of her head. “I bet you there’s a story behind his scar.”
“Sketchy childhood?” Tess suggests. “Bar brawl? Unhinged ex-wife?”
“Why does it have to be something dark and dramatic?” I ask. “Joel could have fallen off his bike or gashed himself on the edge of a table.”
“Boring,” Tess declares, but then she tosses me a sheepish smile. “But Aaron does say my imagination needs its own leash.”
“It’s also why you’re an excellent greeting card writer,” Sofia points out.
“Did Joel ever tell you how he got his scar?” I ask Kate.
