Page 74 of The Weight Of Falling
“Exactly,” he says grimly. “I can’t keep chalking it up to coincidence.”
“Then what do you think it is?” I ask, trying to keep my tone level despite my uneasiness. First, he’s seeing threats everywhere. Now, he sees... what? Magic in the air? Conspiring forces? The universe playing choreographer?
“If it isn’t Kate matchmaking us, it’s the town. And that includes a dog.” He gestures to the beagle fast asleep in his bed. “He definitely played us.”
I stare at that sweet, innocent face. “No, he didn’t.”
“Oh, yes, he did.”
I laugh nervously. The idea is ridiculous, even absurd, and yet there’s a tightness along my spine that won’t smooth out. Could there be a kernel of truth in Joel’s words? Brown Oaks has a way of leaning into things. A small town, small streets, and smaller lives, where patterns form like ripples in a puddle and coincidences line up like chess pieces moved into a trap we never saw coming. Somehow, we’re always at the center of the drama, like the town itself is putting us on display.
A chill brushes across my skin, and I shiver. “I mean, it is strange, I’ll give you that.”
He meets my eyes. “All I know is, the harder I pull away from you, the closer we get. No matter what I do, it all circles back to you.” His eyes trace the curves and planes of my face, and his expression burns me up from the inside. “You’ve been under my skin since the storeroom, and nothing I do seems to change that.”
A charged silence passes between us, his words sucking the air out of the room, leaving me dizzy and breathless.
“So what do you suggest we do?” I ask at last, my heart a fist of small, hopeful things.
He takes a breath, then offers something that’s part plan, part surrender. “Maybe we stop treating it like a problem to fix and just go with it. Maybe if we stop pushing back, the chaos will stop, too.”
I take a moment to absorb his words. Then I poke his chest. Wow, that’s impressively hard. It doesn’t even give an inch. I clear my throat. I refuse to allow myself to be distracted.
“If we’re going ahead with the fake engagement,” I say firmly, “you can’t keep blowing hot and cold. One minute you’re all in, the next you’re pushing me away. It hurts. And it’s not fair.”
His expression softens with regret. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I was trying to do the right thing but ended up doing it all wrong.” His jaw tightens and he swallows. “I never thought I’d say this, but I missed you. It scares me just how much I missed you.”
Something in me loosens in relief and tightens in warning at the same time.
I missed you too is on the tip of my tongue. But I can’t...I won’t...say it. Already, I’ve been too vulnerable with him, handing him more of me than I meant to. It’s time for a little caution on my part.
“So,” I say briskly, “you want to keep the fake engagement going for another two weeks and then call it off?”
He regards me silently for a second, as if he sees exactly what I’m doing. Then he nods. “We let the town calm down while we actually see each other. We don’t make it a spectacle. And then I tell everyone you broke it off and broke my heart.”
I snort. “I doubt anyone would believe that.”
“Don’t underestimate yourself,” he says after a pause. “I think you could be quite the heartbreaker.”
I shift uncomfortably. “I don’t want to break anyone’s heart.”
“I know you don’t.”
I’m still wary, not sure if I want to climb on that rollercoaster of emotions again with Joel. But then my gaze shifts to the bowls and the blanket, the way he bought supplies for a dog that wasn’t even his. I can’t deny it; Joel is a good man. Even if he doesn’t believe it about himself.
Anyway, who am I kidding? I couldn’t push him away if I tried. It would be like telling myself not to breathe. Impossible.
I’m not sure either of us knows what we’re doing, but we can’t seem to stay away from one another. Never mind Kate or the town or a beagle nudging us together. Deep down, in a place not even Joel will admit to, he wants me. As much as I want him.
“You taking the dog to your place?” Joel asks now.
I nod. “Tomorrow I’ll contact vets and shelters. See if anyone’s reported him missing.”
“Okay.” He crouches to clip a leash to the beagle’s collar, a leash he must have picked up tonight. “Let me know if you need help.”
“Will do.”
Together we coax the beagle into my car. He hops in, tail thumping happily against the seat.
