Page 100 of Bewitched By the Sea Monster
“Oh, Alistair.” I laughed. “You might win the ugliest feet award.”
Alistair’s flapper paused and straightened in mock shock. “You don’t find them attractive?”
Not even a little.
They were, in a word,horrid—wrinkled green-scaled limbs wrapped in a thick layer of crusty barnacles.
“I mean, they’re not a deal-breaker. As long as you keep your socks on.” I grinned.
“Ah.”
With a stickyschlup,all four flappers disappeared, only to reemerge several seconds later with tangles of hissing seaweed twined around them. “Better?”
Stars above.
He really was a goofball, wasn’t he?
A certified class clown.
It made me giddy.
“Perfect,” I said. “The socks do the trick.”
“Good.” Alistair gave all four flappers a vigorous shake. Blobs of seaweed pelted my head.
“Alistair!” I shrieked with laughter.
He chuckled and whisked his flappers back under the water.
“Ugh.” I raised one hand to my head, grimacing at the hot goo of the seaweed. “My poor hair…Oh gosh, you’re back.”
Alistair’s two curved horns pinged above the surface. But the rest of his head rose slowly, following the bloom of the next wave. The water split itself over his forehead, trickling down on either side of his face, creating a rain shower over his eyes. But he didn’t seem to notice. He slowly,slowly, allowed the rest of his head to rise, turning those orange eyes to me.
And his face.
Goodness…
He drew his lips back, putting his razor-sharp fangs on full display. It might’ve looked menacing, if he wasn’t overexaggerating an overbite, and deliberately making himself cross-eyed.
That was a doofus face.
And he amped the doofus up several more notches with his chirpy“Boo!”
“You”—I wheezed and flailed in between bouts of giggling—“are a derp.” I spat out a mouthful of water. “Has anyone told you that?”
“Deeeeeeerrrrrppppp.”
“Oh my goodness.”
“I used to hear…not that word, but others. I think they’re the same.” Alistair dipped his chin back into the water and sidled forward, scooping his nose under me. “You’re cold,” he added as he raised the rest of his head out of the water—gently, so I didn’t flop and pinwheel myself back into the ocean.
I scooted back to my usual place between his horns.
Alistair gave a long, contented hum.
“Do people not ever see your derpy side?” I asked.
“Pardon?”
