Page 102 of Bewitched By the Sea Monster
“Please don’t be sorry,” he said with uncharacteristic brusqueness. “Not for me. Be sorry for Indigo. For theinnocents.I deserve my hurt.”
“No, you don’t?—"
“Indigo was innocent. And I should have…” His flesh undulated around a flinch. “May I offer advice, Pippi? For you?”
I blinked. “Uh, sure.”
“You spoke of being trapped. In that qua-quag-quagmire.Iwas a quagmire. Once. I trapped Indigo. And was the b-burden that made her sink faster. I didn’t mean to be, but every day I wish…that I’d let her go. Or she’d b-broken away from me. Every day. I loved her. Letting her go would’ve hurt me. But I’d be h-h-happy for the hurt now. If it made herhappy. But I…” His voice broke. “I can’t help Indigo. Not anymore. Icanhelp you. And I wish this for you, Pippi. Break free of your quagmire. Maybe you won’t lose…your…b-boyfriend. Maybe he’s lost like I was. And doesn’t know he has you trapped. But if you do lose…it won’t be forever. You’ll be free. And will be happy again. But toneverbe free…I don’t want that for you.”
And yup, the waterworks had started again.
Alistair stiffened. “You’re crying. I didn’t mean?—”
“It’s okay, Alistair. It’s okay. You didn’t make me cry.Imade me cry. With everything that’s…well, with everything that happened with Jackson. The timing of this is so terrible. With us being here.”
“If you wait for a good time, you’llalwayswait,” Alistair said.
“Look at you coming in with the sage advice.”
“Well, I am the wise-est…wisestsea beast. And thecoolestandcutest.”
“And the most egotistical. Can’t forget that.”
“I like a different word. C-c-confident.”
“Overly confident, maybe.” I rubbed at the tears tickling my cheeks and curled my knees into my chest, both to warm my body—although the sticky, humid air had already thawed me out—and because I suddenly felt off-kilter. Placed back under a spotlight, when I wasn’t prepared to be there. “How did we endup circling back to my trauma?” I asked. “This was supposed to beyourturn to offload some pain.”
“My hurts are old,” Alistair said. “Yours are fresh. And I’d like to help. If I can.”
I rested my chin against my knees. “You have. Everything about this night—you have helped, Alistair. I’ve neverlaughedlike I have tonight. Never felt so…”
Content.
Safe.
Silly.
Happy.
“…free.”
Alistair warbled. “Good.”
I leaned back, watching as a pudgy puff of fog trickled off the nearly full moon. “Would you tell me about Indigo?”
Confusion surged through him.
“She was important to you. And anyone who’s important to you is important to me. I’d like to hear about her. Whatever you feel comfortable sharing.”
He quieted for a moment. Not in a tense way that suggested I’d trounced too far over the line. This was a reflective silence as he organized what he wanted to say.
“She grew…things,” he began. “This word is missing. Colorful things. They grow in the ground.”
“Uh…”
“They smell nice.”
“Flowers?”
