Page 176 of Playing the Pucking Game
With my thoughts spinning around my head at a million miles an hour, I slowly strip out of my clothes. The scent from my building floods my nose, and it makes my eyes burn again.
Naked, I pull the door open and throw the items into my bedroom in the hope it banishes the smell.
“Oh my god,” I moan as I step into the water. It’s a little too hot, just the way I like it.
My skin prickles and burns as I sink lower, submerging myself and disappearing beneath the bubbles.
No sooner have I stretched out and rested my head back do images of my blackened apartment return.
On some level, I think it might be easier to deal with if it had burned to the ground. At least then I’d know that everything was gone. But now…
It’s all too much.
The thought of going through everything, of sitting surrounded by that bitter scent while sorting through everything I own to see if it’s salvageable, is just too much.
I lie there lost in my own head until long after the water has gone cold. I just don’t have the energy to move.
After the traveling, the long hours with the guys, Mitchell and his constant belittling comments and irritated glances, and my life going up in smoke, I’m wrung out.
I’ve been given the most incredible opportunity, the job I’ve always dreamed of, and I’m falling apart.
I want to give it my all. The guys deserve for me to be at my best so they can do the same in return. But I’m a fucking mess, and no amount of athletic tape is going to hold me together.
Climbing from the tub is like trudging through mud. All I want to do is fall face first into my bed, close my eyes, and hope for relief.
With a towel wrapped around my body, I wash my face and brush my teeth before pulling the door open.
A gasp rips from my throat as I take in the room before me, and like the emotional mess that I am, I immediately break down.
The clothes I threw out, God knows how long ago, have gone. My sheets have been pulled back ready for me to slide in, my cell is charging on my nightstand, and there is a fresh mug of hot chocolate, fully loaded with cream and marshmallows beside it.
A laugh bubbles out of me when I step closer to the bed because there are a couple of chocolates on my pillow. But it’s not those that really steal my attention; it’s the note beneath them.
Little P
I’m right here if you need me.
For anything.
L x
Why can’t he just be the asshole that I know and love? Why does he have to show me this side of him again?
It’s not fair.
He can’t be that hot and this thoughtful and kind.
I don’t stand a chance.
I survived him once. I built my walls up and held my head high as I put what happened between us behind me, convincing myself that he was a player who would break my heart just like Seth did.
But I won’t be able to do it again.
I pull on a tank and some sleep shorts before climbing into bed and lifting the mug to my lips.
It’s hot, really hot. He’s only just been in here to deliver this.
He must have been waiting, listening for me to release the water, so he could slip in unnoticed.
