Page 113 of Control Freak
“Come on back to my chair,” he said. “We’ll get you set up.”
The tattoo parlor had a wide, open feel to it, with lots of light pouring through the windows. Framed tattoo art in the styles of each artist hung on the walls, everything from classic black-and-white styles to realistic shades of gray to brightly colored cartoony images.
Cyrus was old-school. Above his station, there were depictions of roses with bloodied thorns, fierce eagles, skulls,and snakes. His station was in the back of the shop, though, a bit more private than the others.
And Cyrus was the most laid-back, chill guy you’d ever meet. His energy put me at ease. Even with my touch aversion, I knew—somewhere deep down—that this guy was not a true threat.
“So, what’s the tattoo?” Shiloh asked as I took a seat in the chair.
“A broken shield.”
Shiloh looked puzzled. “Why broken?”
Cyrus cleared his throat. “I’ll go get the transfer ready. You still want Shiloh to help out today?”
“If that’s all right.”
He nodded. “Maybe start with taking off your shirt, then.” He winked. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
Shiloh turned to me. “Did you want me to?—”
“Sure. It might be a good way to ease into all this.”
He hesitated, seeming unsure, so I gestured to my chest. “Just the buttons?”
“Okay.”
He exhaled and came closer. My pulse spiked, but this was Shiloh. He’d do exactly as I asked, and nothing more.
His fingers trembled a bit when he reached for my first button. He struggled to undo it.
I closed my hand over his. “Relax, Shy. This isn’t even the hard part.”
He gave a little laugh. “I know. Sorry. I don’t know why I’m suddenly so nervous.”
“I love you,” I murmured. “I want this. Please remember that.”
He raised his eyes to meet mine and gave a little nod. “Yeah. Me too.”
I released his hand, and he unbuttoned the top button. Then the next and the next. My shirt parted, revealing my chest, thenmy stomach. To distract myself, I answered his question about the tattoo.
“I’m getting the broken shield for a couple of reasons. When I first asked for it, it was because it represented strength after struggle. But now it means something a little different to me.”
Shiloh glanced up from my shirt, hands going still. “What’s that?”
“My touch aversion is a shield I’ve hidden behind. I’m the one breaking the shield now. So that I can step out from behind it and truly live the way I want to.”
“That’s scary, isn’t it? Giving up something that’s made you feel safe.”
“Terrifying,” I said. “But the shield doesn’t only protect me. It stands between me and the people I love.”
Shiloh’s eyes filled with sadness. “I can see that.”
“You’re helping me break it, Shy. That’s what we’re doing here.”
He nodded. “I think I understand.”
“Good.”
