Page 35 of Control Freak
Holden moved toward the door, pausing just short of me. I realized he wouldn’t walk past me, not in such close quarters. The chances I’d reach out and touch him were too high.
God. How hard it must be to live that way.
“Why don’t you stay in here tonight?” I suggested. “I could go to the sofa.”
“No.”
“But—”
“We’ve been over this,” Holden said. “I want you to feel safe and secure here. You won’t feel that way out there.”
He was projecting his feelings onto me, but I didn’t think I could convince him of that. He wanted me here because he wanted me safe, and this was his safe space.
“Okay,” I said gently. “Then what if we both stayed in here?”
There was a long, tense pause as he appeared to wrestle with himself.
“Do you trust me, Holden?” I prompted.
“Of course I do.”
“I know your boundaries. I would never touch without asking first.”
“I know.”
“I won’t even ask,” I said. “Because that puts pressure on you to say yes or no. That’s not who we are, right? We don’t touch. We just use our words…”
He exhaled. “I’ve got an air mattress. Maybe if I could just sleep on the floor in here?”
“Whatever makes you comfortable,” I said honestly. “If you’re happier on the sofa?—”
“No,” he said quickly. “It’s miserable.’
I chuckled. “I really meant it when I offered to sleep there. I’ve had roommates. I’m used to people coming and going.”
“I’d worry about you, though.”
“Okay, so air mattress?”
He nodded once. “I’ll get it. I, uh, have one more request. You can say no if it makes you uncomfortable.”
“Yes, you can sleep naked,” I quipped.
He gave a small huff of amusement. “No, that’s not it. But now that you’ve put the idea in my head, I’ll have to insistyoudo that.”
“You know how I like it when you get all bossy.”
He chuckled. “Uh, seriously, though… I usually sleep with the door locked. Would you mind?—”
“Lock it, then. I don’t mind. I trust you.”
He gave me a searching look. “You might trust too easily,” he finally said.
“Are you saying I’m wrong to trust you?”
“No,” he said quickly. “But…I’m not sure I’ve earned it yet.”
I walked to the door and flipped the lock. Then I drew my T-shirt over my head and tossed it into the hamper by the door. Holden’s breath caught, and his gaze swept over my chest with gratifying appreciation.
