Page 55 of Control Freak
“So enjoy it while it lasts?”
“Something like that. I’m not trying to be flippant. I like you, Holden. We’re friends. Maybe we could even be more. But my life is a mess, and who knows how this will all work out? I don’t know what’s next, but whatever it is, I don’t want you to ever feel I’m taking advantage?—”
“I don’t,” I cut in. “I want you here.”
His lips curled in a sexy little smirk. “Well, good. Because I really want to enjoy this view for a little longer.”
“Enjoy it for as long as you want.”
I meant it too. I wanted Shiloh to stay as long as he needed. If that ended up being weeks or months, I wasn’t going to protest. Hell, if it ended up being forever, I’d be the luckiest man ever.But I knew Shiloh was too practical for that. Too independent. He’d want to get his life back on track.
I slathered my face with shaving cream and raised my razor to scrape away stubble. Shiloh watched me shave, eyes intent as I craned my head back to run the razor under my chin and along my neck.
I rinsed it in warm water. “Are you just going to watch, or did you need something in here?”
“Oh!” He jolted into motion. “I wanted to brush my teeth.”
He leaned forward just as I lifted the razor back to my face and reached for his toothbrush. He moved in close, and I flinched away on instinct, my hand slipping.
A sharp sting bloomed along my jaw.
“Oh, shit!” Shiloh gasped, lifting his hand as if to reach for my face.
“It’s fine,” I said quickly, leaning away.
He dropped his hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to— Damn. I’m sorry.”
I reached for a square of toilet paper to dab at the cut. “It’s my fault. My hand slipped.”
He huffed. “Because I got too close. I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I’ll keep my distance?—”
“No!” I blurted.
His gaze jerked to mine, his eyes wide and confused.
“I don’t want more space between us,” I said. “I want?—”
I exhaled hard. Why was this so hard to say? I’d spent my whole life telling people to keep away. To not touch. Doing the opposite seemed wrong.
“You want what?” Shiloh asked.
It took me a minute to find my voice. I breathed through the nerves writhing in my gut.
“I’ve been thinking that maybe we could try…touching.”
His eyebrows flew up. “I didn’t think you could do that?”
“Well, I can a little. It’s very limited.” I wiped off my face. It wasn’t the best shave job, but it’d do for today. Turning to him, I made eye contact. “I practice exposure therapy with my brothers, but… I’ve not made as much progress as I could have.”
“Oh. So they touch you?” His gaze roamed to my chest and stomach, and he bit his lower lip. “Not gonna lie. I’d love to get my hands all over you.”
I tensed on reflex, and his gaze returned to mine. “On your terms, of course. Or not at all, if that’s not what you meant? Sorry.”
“No, I meant it. Of all the people in the world who might touch me, you’re the one I wish could do it.”
A smile tugged at his lips. “Yeah? Even more than your brothers?”
I laughed. “Yeah. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I want to be able to comfort them. But what I want with you…”
