Page 76 of Control Freak
That poor baby boy. My eyes burned at the thought of that small child in fear and pain, but my sorrow was quickly followed by a molten rage. If his mother was at this table right now, I’d tear her apart.
“Cyrus triggered me every time we did a session,” Holden continued. “It took me six sessions to get it done, spread out over two months. For just this tiny tattoo.”
“I didn’t know that,” Axel rasped. “We could have chosen a different spot or done something else entirely.”
Holden shook his head. “No way. We made a pact, and the fact it hurt, the fact it overwrote some trauma, was worth it to me. I know other people just see a tattoo when they look at it. But…” He swallowed. “What I see is all the ways my family has helped me heal.” His eyes locked on me. “And you’re part of that now, Shiloh. So I’d really like you to stay. Not so you’ll stop camming, and not because you can’t afford your own place. I’d like you to stay for me. Because I’m selfish. Because I want to keep healing, and I think I can do it best of all with you.”
“Holden…” My heart pulsed with sadness and affection and sheer gratitude for the precious man before me. “You’ve done so much for me. You’re not selfish at all! I’d love to stay longer, especially if it means I get to be part of your healing.”
“Is it just me, or has it turned into a soap opera in here?” Bailey asked. “I’ve got to get out of here before hearts shoot out of my ass or something.”
There was a shocked moment of silence, and then the brothers all collapsed into laughter.
“Way to ruin a moment,” Holden griped, but he was smiling.
The air felt lighter somehow. Bailey might be young, but he’d grown up with Holden’s scars. Maybe I’d learn a little something from him about how to live with it, how to hear Holden’s truths, acknowledge them, then crack a joke that had everyone finishing up dinner with a smile.
CHAPTER 19
Holden
I pulledup in front of Riverton Grade School and watched the students run onto the playground for lunch recess. Girls giggled and whispered, heads close together. Boys horsed around until the teacher on duty ordered them to settle down. There was a race to the swings. Why were there never enough swings? They were the best feature of the playground.
I sat in my idling GTO, trying not to look like a creeper watching kids, and waited for Shiloh to come out of the side entrance. I’d been taking him in the morning and picking him up at lunch each day. I could have just let him drive the GTO, but I liked spending these few minutes away from work each day. A little time for me and Shiloh to exist away from my brothers or my responsibilities.
Parker emerged first, carrying a lunch sack, with Shiloh just behind him, shouldering a monster tote bag. They were both talking as they stepped out the door. Laughing. They paused on the sidewalk to finish their conversation, and Shiloh laid one hand on Parker’s forearm, looking serious and intent.
My gut tightened with jealousy.
I couldn’t even tolerate that touch, but I didn’t want anyone else to have it. What kind of jackass did that make me?
I hopped out of the car to open the passenger door for Shiloh as he and Parker finally parted ways.
“Hey, thanks for the ride.” He smiled as he slipped into the front seat. “I asked Parker, and he said he could start bringing me home because he has a planning period right after lunch.”
“No,” I said, closing the door.
When I got back into the driver’s seat, Shiloh lifted an eyebrow at me. “No?”
“I can pick you up. I told you it was fine.”
Besides, I didn’t need the gorgeous, touchable Parker hanging around Shiloh even more. He might have a longtime partner, but this was Shiloh. Who wouldn’t want to be with him?
I shifted the car into drive and pulled away from the curb.
“You’ve got your own job to worry about,” Shiloh said. “Bad enough that I’ve been mooching off you. I don’t want to be a hassle too.”
“Shiloh.” I slowed for a stop sign and looked him in the eye. “Please stop thinking of yourself as some unwanted houseguest. You’re family now.”
His lips parted. For once, he was speechless. I smirked as I drove through the intersection and hung a left.
“You’re proud of that one,” he finally sputtered.
“With good reason. We make a good family.”
“I can’t argue that.”
He shifted in the seat, adjusting the tote on his lap. It seemed a good time to change the subject.
