Page 8 of Fresh Tracks
The rustling of paper gets my attention back on the ceremony as Tanner unfolds his handwritten vows. It’s times like these when I’m glad I'm five-ten and even in heels, I can easily peer over Lizzy to watch.
In typical Tanner fashion, he works in a couple of sappy jokes that has everyone laughing. I scan the crowd, seeing all of our friends and family. I look through the rows, noting that everyone they wanted here made it.
My gaze finally lands on the back row. My skin heats and my brows knit together. Everyone in the room right now is focused on my brother and V, except for TJ, whose eyes are locked on me.
What is his deal? He always seems to be glaring at me. Ever since the first morning of our spring trip to Bend, when my brothers, their partners, and me as the fifth wheel stayed at his house, it's been this way.
Yeah, I know I interrupted his quiet mornings of fly fishing with my cold plunges in the river. But I wanted to try it, the cold river was right there, and my apartment in Utah definitely doesn't have space for a cold tub.
Did I get a little carried away after that first morning where I accidentally scared him? Maybe, but how was I supposedto know he was on the other side of that boulder at the crack of dawn? I figured no one else would be up as early as I was.
I did enjoy trying to sneak up and scare him over the next couple days. And OK, I definitely dragged him up on stage at a shitty dive bar for karaoke and made him sing ridiculous pop songs.
He can’t really still be annoyed with me, can he? And it's his friend’s wedding day. He should be focused on the ceremony, like everyone else.
Except I don’t really have room to talk because I'm still staring right back at him. I meet his gaze, smirk, and flare my eyebrows in question. But his crystalline blue eyes never leave mine, only making the temperature of my skin creep even higher.
I overexaggerate rolling my eyes before matching his glare and tilting my head toward the altar. He finally snaps out of whatever that was, nods, and looks toward the altar.
It’s beenyears since I’ve been in The Chairlift, the old bar down the street from Tanner’s cabin. It’s got that perfect homey mix of old school locals like our family, recent transplants, and out-of-towners coming in after skiing. Nothing about it screams wedding reception venue, but it’s perfect for the newlyweds. It’s been here since the days our grandparents owned the land surrounding it along Moose Wilson Road, back when they still had a small ranch. These days, my brother’s cabin and the bar are all that’s left from that time so it's fitting that my brother and V would want to have their reception here.
Everyone is ecstatic and rightfully so. I have never seen either of my brothers this happy. Veronica has been grinning ear to ear all night and Lizzy is in full Maid of Honor mode, working with Collin to keep the party rolling according to V's strict itinerary.Even my grandparents are here and enjoying the lively scene in the dingy old bar.
I’m genuinely thrilled for my brother, but seeing all of my family like this, like everything is all coming together for everyone else, just reminds me that I don’t know what’s next for me. I’m going to take some time for me, but I still want to find a way to make an impact with others. And I feel like shit for even thinking about myself on a day like this.
I had my dream job. I was having fun, I was helping people, I was making a difference. It never even felt like work.
And now? Now, I don’t know what’s next .
Which, of course, is exactly what my grandparents want to ask me about. I did my best to hide away in the back of the bar at a high-top by myself, but they’re like bloodhounds. Somehow they’re always honed in on ‘Where is Grace?’ They’re always well-meaning and normally I would love to talk to them about my work.
But today? I just want to enjoy my drink and wind down the night on my own. Trying to convince everyone you’re perfectly fine is exhausting and I’m reaching my limit for socializing tonight. That’s why I changed as soon as the ceremony was over into my comfortable overalls and flannel and found a high-top table away from the crowd.
“Oh sweetie, what are you doing hiding over here?” Grandma asks, clutching her champagne flute to her chest. “I’m glad you could get some time away from working with those kids to come see us.” I’m positive this grungy bar has never seen a champagne flute come through its doors until today. And judging by her smile and giddiness, Lizzy, must have clearly gotten to her with more than one glass of celebratory bubbles tonight.
My grandpa rolls his eyes. “Nancy, you know that hasn't been her job for years. She’s in charge of getting the money to pay for those classes and lessons now.”
My heart sinks and warms simultaneously, seeing just how invested and proud they are with my life.
I huff a laugh, trying to mask my emotions, but I can feel my shoulders sag. I don’t want to lie to them, but I’m not ready to tell the full story to anyone else yet. I don’t want to take away from their day and bring down the vibe with my own pity party.
My grandma doesn’t catch the subtle hint that for once, this is a subject I’d prefer to move on from. Literally, we could talk about anything else right now and I’d be thrilled. We could even talk about my continual lack of a boyfriend, her normal favorite topic to gossip about with me. I’d be fine with that for a change, considering it's something I assume will only continue now that Tanner is married and Clay has a girlfriend.
“So, when are you driving back to Utah? I imagine they can’t let you out of their hands very long knowing how much you do for them.” She smiles at me so warmly, but that doesn’t dull the still fresh wound. I know she’s trying to compliment me, but that one hurts.
I take a sip of my own Champagne, which hardly feels appropriate for my current feelings, and plaster on a smile as I try to come up with some kind of noncommittal answer. I start to open my mouth, but I realize neither of them are looking at me now. Their collective gaze is locked on something behind me.
I start to shift in my seat to see what has my grandparents’ attention, but before I can even move, a hand gently grazes the back of my shoulder. The warmth, the pressure, it instantly electrifies my skin, waking up every nerve in my body.
OK, maybe it was more of awhohas their attention, not awhat.
Before I can turn around, a voice I could never forget stops me midturn. “Hey there, Rainbow,” that deep, well-worn voice rasps. I would know it anywhere.
So would a lot of people actually, considering it’s a famousone, played on radio stations across the planet for more than two decades.
But that nickname. Thatisn’t so well known. That was just for me.
Freaking TJ.
