Page 92 of Fresh Tracks
CHAPTER 37
TJ
BEING AN IDIOT
I knowI’m attached to her. OK. I’m more than attached, but I didn’t think it would be this hard to see her leave for a long weekend. Maybe I’m subconsciously worried that I was being too clingy and scared her off. Or maybe I just miss smelling that fucking lavender scent and the feeling of that piercing sliding over the tip of my tongue. Either way, I’m going to miss the fuck out of her and count the seconds until I see her again.
“I will see you on Monday. That’s less than four days,” she says, dropping her chin and quirking her brows. “Stop being such a big baby. You’re almost as dramatic as a Chapman boy.”
I hook my thumbs into the pockets of her overalls and pull her against me. Standing next to her van in my driveway, a cool winter breeze wafts over us, blowing her bangs to the side. She might be giving me shit, but I can see that she’s going to miss me too.
“Fine,” I huff begrudgingly, bringing my lips to hers for a goodbye kiss. “Tell the girls and Clay I said hi.”
She nods. “I will.”
We stand there for a second and the words I’ve been wanting to tell her all week linger on the tip of my tongue. I want to tellher I love her, but the words keep getting stuck in my throat because I don’t want to spook her. She wanted to keep it simple and I know I can come on a bit strong. I mean, I do have a fucking rainbow tattoo on my hip.
“Be safe. I’ll see you soon, Rainbow,” are the words I settle on before I place one gentle kiss on her forehead.
“See you soon, Boss,” she replies with a wry grin, blowing me a kiss when she hops into her van and shuts the door.
All I can do is stand there and watch as she starts to back out of the parking spot that’s become hers. When her van pulls out of my driveway and turns the corner, it feels like a little bit of my heart is going with it.
I takea bite of my pasta, swirling my wine glass with the other hand when Sutton groans. “I thought you were done with the moody, moping act.”
I shoot him a glare, but I’m surprised when I find him studying me without his usual shit-eating grin. I set down my glass and shrug, spearing another bite of food.
“Grace is out of town,” I reply, unenthusiastically. She only left yesterday and I still can’t shake that this is my fault. I know she needed to go anyway and it’s good she’s seeing her friends. But I still feel like the whole reason this drama started is because she’s dating me.
Yes, her brother is being a dickhead after finding out, but that’s only because I was famous once and people care way too much about what I do.
Sutton hums thoughtfully, polishing a cocktail glass behind the counter. “Trouble in rockstar paradise?”
I set my fork down and furrow my brows at him. “It’s not that simple.”
“What part?” he asks. “The part where you’re clearly in love with her or something else?”
I drag my hand over my face, sighing in frustration. “When did you become the smart, observant sibling?”
He shrugs. “Always have been. So let’s make this simple. What’s really wrong?”
“You know cocky looks good on Slade, but I’m not sold on this look for you.” I bury my face in my palms and sigh. “Fine. She’s back in Utah for the weekend. Partly because Tanner’s being an ass about us dating, and doesn’t take us seriously or thinks I’m taking advantage of her. Either way, I just feel like I’m fucking shit up for her. Because of who I am. And she’s not even getting anything out of this.”
That’s what’s been creeping into my mind lately. What’s the point of all the work Jake and I have done to keep my wealth and my life private if it’s still going to make my life messy? Not just mine, but hers now too.
He cocks his head in surprise. “Did she tell you that?”
“Well, no.”
“Then why would that even cross your mind, man? If you’re worried she feels that way, then you need to ask her,” he says, again no trace of his normal goofy, unserious self.
He might be right though. I’ve bottled so much of my own worries up that I haven’t even asked her.
He tips the glass he started polishing at me. “I hate to break it to you, but you’re always going to be a public figure one way or another. You might as well own it.”
I think back to what she said weeks ago. I should just own it and maybe some good will come out of it.
“But if you ask me how you should fix—” he starts before I cut him off when the idea slams into my mind.
