Page 60 of Cheap Shot
My mind is so confused right now. I need time to think. Before today, I wasn’t scared of whatever this connection is between us, and now I’m terrified. I’ve never been an impulsive person. I’ve had a plan for my life laid out in my journal since I was a teenager. Each major milestone was checked off as I accomplished it, but now, I’ve reached the end of the list. I have my dream job, but now what? I didn’t think past this part of the plan until now. Now what do I do?
“Say it again.”
“What?”
Goose bumps ripple down my arms at the rough edge of his voice. He pulls me closer, his body heat pressing against me. The hard line of his cock is unmistakable, even through the thin fabric of his sweats. Fuck. This would be so much easier if he weren’t touching me.
“My name,” he murmurs, his lips close enough to brush my cheek. “Say it again.”
“Cole,” I whisper, the name catching on a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
My thighs clench involuntarily, tension coiling low in my belly. I need something, anything, to relieve some of the tension in my body. What the hell is he doing to me? He hasn’t even kissed me yet, and my entire body is ready to combust. As if I’m standing on the edge of a cliff, one gust away from free-falling.
He rests his hand on my cheek, his thumb tracing the edge of my jaw like he’s memorizing it. “I said I’d move at your pace. I meant it. But if you don’t want this—us—say it now.”
My eyes flutter shut, leaning into the warmth of his touch. God, I want to say yes. I want to lose myself in him, to forget everything else for just one night. But I can’t—not when everything I’ve worked for, everything he’s built, hangs in the balance.
“If we cross this line now, there is no going back.” My voice is barely audible. “One wrong move, and it could cost us everything. Our jobs. Our reputations. The future we’ve both fought so damn hard for.”
He doesn’t flinch. If anything, he draws even closer, his forehead nearly resting against mine. “Too late. At least for me. I crossed that line the moment I saw you in the therapy center, which feels like a lifetime ago. I knew at that moment you were mine. I’m just waiting for you to catch up.”
My throat tightens. “You barely know me.”
“Then tell me. Everything. Let me earn it, piece by piece.”
A beat of silence stretches between us, thick with everything unsaid. This is freaking bonkers. This doesn’t happen to people in real life, especially people like me. A part of me is looking for a metaphysical break I can hit to slow things down, but a much larger part is ready to let myself fall. But I’ve never been too good at just falling. My need for control outweighs everything else.
“Aren’t you scared?” I whisper.
“Shitless,” he admits. “But I’d rather risk everything and have you... than play it safe and never know what we could’ve been.”
His words hang in the air between us, raw and vulnerable. I want to believe them. I want to fall into them. I want to give a man I barely know my heart and beg him to protect it. But wanting something and making it a reality are not the same thing.
My heart twists painfully as I pull back, just a fraction, but enough for his hand to slip from my cheek. The loss in his eyes cuts me deeper than I expect.
“I want this, too, Cole. More than I’ve wanted anything in a long time.” My voice shakes, and I hate how small it sounds. “But wanting doesn’t change what’s at stake.”
His jaw tightens, his hands curling at his sides like he’s holding himself back. “So what, then? We just keep pretending this isn’t happening?”
My eyes brim with tears as I try to explain my worries to him. “I think you know exactly how dangerous this is. How one whisper, one headline, one photo taken at the wrong time could unravel everything we’ve worked for.”
“I don’t care?—”
“Well, I do!” I snap, the words sharper than I mean them to be. His eyes flash with surprise, then something that looks like hurt. “I do care, Cole. Because this isn’t just about us. It’s about our careers. Our dreams. The years we’ve sacrificed to get where we are. If this goes wrong… we don’t just lose each other. We might lose everything.”
My heart aches knowing there’s no way to explain how much this will affect him if anyone finds out. Cole will not only lose his position on the Timberwolves, but if Dad has anything to do with it, he’ll lose his chances of ever playing in the NHL again, too. I know this is an enormous secret to keep from him, but I have to wait for the right time. To be sure that whatever this is between us will last before bringing up my dad. It will be safer for both of us that way.
He takes a step back, his gaze locked on mine, intense and unreadable. “So that’s it? You’re walking away?”
“No,” I whisper. “I’m standing still. Because the moment I move—toward you—I won’t be able to stop.”
His chest rises and falls with shallow breaths, like he’s fighting the same war inside his head. He looks at me like I’m already gone, and it cracks something in me.
“I need time to think. To breathe. To be sure that when I choose you, I’m not destroying us.”
He nods slowly, every muscle in his body held tight like a man resisting the urge to chase. “Take your time, Michele. But know this—whatever you decide, I’m not going anywhere.”
I turn to leave, and with every step away from him, my body protests. My heart begs me to turn back. But my mind—the part that’s terrified of falling too fast, too hard—keeps me walking toward the training room door and pushing through. And when the door shuts softly behind me, it feels like something else might be closing, too. Something I’m not sure I’ll be brave enough to open again.
