Page 49 of Lighting the Lamp
And I’m in it, even though I shouldn’t be. Panic seizes my chest, sharp and sudden. This isn’t a casual mistake like getting too drunk to head home and needing to crash on the couch. I’m in his space. His bed. His arms. And God help me, I don’t want him to ever let go.
I lightly run my fingers down his hand where it rests against my stomach, fingers twitching like even in sleep, he’s afraid I’llslip away. He lets out a soft, sleepy groan just before he nuzzles closer, his nose brushing the nape of my neck like it’s instinct.
The phone vibrates again, angrier this time and somehow louder, causing my heart to stutter. I have to get out of here. I manage to locate my phone sitting on the nightstand beside me. I move slowly, careful not to wake Beau, and reach for the phone. I nearly knock it off the nightstand as I grab it, and my fingers swipe across the screen without looking.
“Hello?” I rasp.
There’s a pause on the other end, then a voice—Ramona. “Uh… good morning? Did I wake you?”
“No, I—” My throat is dry, causing my voice to break halfway through. “I’m fine.”
Beau shifts behind me, muttering something incoherent into the pillow, and I suck in a sharp breath. His arm tightens around me instinctively, his body heat pressing into my back. The smell of him wraps around me like a trap I walked into willingly. Unfortunately, Ramona hears everything.
“You okay?” she asks, suspicion creeping in. “Where are you?”
“I-I’m at Beau’s,” I whisper, clamping a hand over the phone and my mouth like I can shove the words back in before they settle.
“Oh,” Ramona says slowly. “But why are you whispering? Beau’s guest room is on the other side of the condo. If he is anything like his brother, a bomb could go off in the middle of the apartment and he wouldn’t wake up.”
“That’s an exaggeration, don’t you think?” I respond, turning slightly to ensure Beau is, in fact, still asleep.
“Okay, maybe so, but he sleeps like the dead. So again, why are you whispering?”
Normally, I love how inquisitive my friend is; we both come by it honestly, but right now, I really just want to know whyshe is calling me. I can’t very well tell her anything about what happened last night. The last thing I need right now is our entire makeshift family making this out to be more than it really is. Not that I really know what this is myself, but that is a problem for another day because I have no idea what happened after that kiss, how I ended up in his bed, and no idea what the hell I’m supposed to do now that I’m here.
Beau shifts again, this time with a low groan that rumbles through my spine. His hand slides instinctively over my hip, like we’ve done this a thousand times. Panic claws at my chest, and I hiss the first thing that pops into my head.
“I’m whispering because I’m in bed with Beau.”
Fuck.I could have said anything else, but I chose this moment to be completely honest with my best friend. I would love to blame the lack of coffee for my inability to think of anything besides the truth, but there is no turning back now. It’s only silent for a moment before Ramona squeals so loudly I have to pull the phone away from my ear.
“Oh, my God!” She drops her voice to a frantic whisper. “You’re in his bed? With him? Alise, did he finally—wait, are you naked? Is he naked? Are you guys naked together?”
“Ramona,” I hiss, cheeks flaming.
“I’m sorry, but this is monumental. Historic, even. I need all the details. Start with the kiss, and do not leave out any of the slow-burn angst?—”
“You called me, remember?” I say, clutching the phone like a lifeline. “What did you call for?”
There’s a pause, like she’s mentally flipping through her brain’s file cabinet but keeps pulling out glittery fantasies instead of information.
“I… I don’t remember,” she says, finally. “I think it was something about Cooper? Or maybe the wedding? No, forget that. Alise, what the hell happened last night?”
Beau stirs again, but this time, his breathing changes. His body tenses slightly, and I panic.
“Gotta go,” I whisper. “He’s waking up.”
“Wait, wait, wait—Alise!”
I hang up and toss the phone face down on the nightstand like it just caught fire.
Beau groans softly behind me, shifting closer, and I swear my heartbeat is echoing in the room. I’m not ready to talk about this. Not with Ramona. And definitely not with Beau.
For a moment, I freeze. His arm is still heaving across my waist, but his fingers run back and forth softly against my skin beneath the hem of the T-shirt I borrowed. The mattress creaks softly as I feel a soft, familiar inhale against my shoulder.
“Lisey.” Beau’s voice is low, still rough with sleep but clearly awake.
I turn slowly, my eyes locking with his, but he doesn’t move. I can feel him watching me. His eyes scan every inch of my body. I try to breathe quietly as I shift, slowly sliding his arm off my waist and sitting up on the edge of the bed. The air is chilly against my skin, biting at the backs of my thighs. I tug his henley lower and rake a trembling hand through my hair.
