Page 18 of To My Scot, With Love
She lifted a shoulder and let it drop. “Marriages of the ton are often some sort of arrangement or another. Whether it is the trading of wealth, title, lands, a womb…”
“But I dinnae imagine it’s common for a husband to willingly look the other way while his wife takes a lover? Or maybe ‘tis. I’m not familiar with your lot, I’ll admit. But I am familiar with men. And they tend to be possessive over what they believe is theirs.”
She swirled the wine in her glass, stretching her neck from side to side, contemplating her answer.
“I suppose that part isn’t common. Freddy is…not common. He’s genuine and kind and deeply in love with his mistress. A truer love I’ve never witnessed. But he’s also honorable and beholden to duty.” She glanced down and whispered, “He saved me from a very unfortunate fate.”
Malcolm leaned forward, his forehead lining. She glanced at where his fists had just tightened. Like he was ready to fight for her.
“What do ye mean, lass?”
“Before Freddy offered for me,” she started slowly, her gaze turning unseeing. “I was in the Duke of Ironcrest’s sights.” Malcolm’s harsh intake of breath snapped her gaze back up to his. “I see you’ve heard of his reputation.” A reputation that spoke to him being just as cruel as his father before him. Lydia had heard horror stories of what the dowager Duchess of Ironcrest had experienced.
Malcolm’s eyes were wide, and he jerked his chin in a stiff nod. “Aye,” he bit out. “Servants talk, my lady. Cruelty such as his does not go unheard.”
She nodded sadly. “And now some other poor woman is subjected to his cruelty.” Her throat tightened. “And I’ve heard his son isn’t safe from it either,” she added quietly. “Sometimes I feel guilty…that I put someone else—”
“Nae,” Malcolm interrupted, firm, steady. “Absolutely not, Lydia. Ye cannae shoulder the blame for that man’s evil. His sins are his to bear, no’ yers.” His voice deepened, his brogue thickening. “They would exist nae matter what. From whispers, it is no’ just his wife and son who suffer his wrath. Ye were fortunate to escape, aye, but that doesnae make ye responsible for those who didnae. Their suffering is on his head, no’ yers.” His tone softened. “Ye have a big heart, lass. ‘Tis why ye feel so deeply for the welfare of others.”
She swallowed thickly and wrinkled her nose against the subtle sting building there. She tried to say thank you, but nothing came out, her throat still too tight.
“Och, dinnae let your heart be heavy, lass. Will ye tell me more about how ye and the Earl came to be?”
She gave a small bob of her head and cleared her throat. “Freddy had just made it known he was looking for a wife. I honestly don’t think he had any idea who to choose. He didn’twantto choose anyone. But he saw me at a ball, cornered by the Duke. He’s always had a protective streak. Always taking care of others.”
She stared down into her wineglass absently. “The next day he called on me. Explained the situation. What would be required of me. And asked if I would be receptive to such an offer.”
“Did you no’ want love? Even if it isn’t common amongst your class?”
Her lips curved. “At the time, yes. But I was terrified. If I didn’t receive another offer… What Freddy was offering me was safe. I chose that over the unknown. And most definitely over the possibility of the Duke.
“But I can honestly say, after being married to Freddy all these years? I know I made the right decision. Love would have been a dream. But I ended up with a best friend instead. And three precious children.” She glanced at him from beneath her lashes. “And it is not as though I don’t still have a chance at love. Some day.”
“I’ll be forever grateful to the Earl for saving ye. And for allowing me this.” He gestured between the two of them.
“Speaking of this…” Lydia worried her lip. “It is important I do not get with child.”
He dipped his chin slowly in understanding. “There are precautions we can take. I have sheaths. Sitting unopened and probably collecting dust,” he added hesitantly. “‘Tis been a while…”
“Since you’ve been with a woman,” she murmured, not a question, and studied him.
“Aye. I’ve been a wee bit stuck on one bonnie lass in particular. One I thought I had nae chance with.”
“I shouldn’t like that as much as I do,” she said, shooting him an apologetic smile. And the grin he flashed her in return started up a fluttering in her belly. “Urm.” She paused, wringing her hands. “Is that something you’d have ready for…? If things were to…?”
Malcolm stood, his blue eyes dancing. “Aye, my eager lass,” he teased as he made his way over to his desk.
She patted her blessedly cool hands over her cheeks. She feared she was destined to be permanently red-faced around this man.
“There are other precautions we can take as well. There are certain times I am more or less likely to become with child.” She paused. “I’m actually much more familiar with practices trying toencouragepregnancy,” she said ruefully. “Freddy wanted to limit our intimate moments as much as possible. We brought in many midwives to educate us on various methods.”
Malcolm paused in his rifling through drawers and peered at her over his shoulder. “Boggles my mind that a man would want tolimitbedding ye, lass.”
He turned back to his desk. He was doing something on the surface of his desk that she couldn’t see, then he strode back over to her and settled back next to her. She glanced at the desk and opened her mouth, but he must have seen the question on her face.
“A sheath. Best to soak it in oil before use.” His voice roughened. “Will ensure it willane take away from ye’re pleasure.”
Oh. Goodness, she was woefully uneducated. And slightly overwhelmed. “There’s also a t-tea I can drink,” she stuttered, flailing. “I’m not overly familiar with—”
