Page 31 of To My Scot, With Love
Her smile broke free again, and some tension eased from her frame.
“Now, why are you glowing, Lyddie? Does that smile mean what I think it does?”
“Yes,” she said, heat slowly rising to her cheeks.
“You little minx! So, the man came to his senses then?”
She cocked her head and shot him a disbelieving look. “Please, Freddy. Like you didn’t approach him and tell him I was…was…amenable to his attentions!”
He shrugged in response to her and ducked out of his lawn shirt. “He’s a good man. Honorable. I was afraid he’d never take the chance if I didn’t give my…blessings of sorts.”
“I think you’re correct about that. He’s the best sort of man, Freddy.” Her voice had softened. And Freddy stilled, his attention completely on her.
“Lyddie…are you…?”
She nodded. “He’s it, Freddy. I think he has been all along.” Tears blurred her vision, and in the next moment, she was in her best friend’s arms, having the breath squeezed right from her. Her watery chuckle danced around them, and he beamed at her.
“Oh, I am so happy for you,. darling. You deserve this. More than anyone I know.” He stepped back, holding her hands and looking her over. “We did all right for ourselves, did we not? With this arrangement?”
“I’ll say,” she said, her smile filling her words.
Giles assisted Freddy into a fresh pair of trousers, shirt, and waistcoat, while Lyddie started pacing by the hearth. A light tangle of anxiety twisted in her belly. There was one more matter she needed to address with her husband. She felt certain, deep in her heart, that he would understand—that he would not succumb to the prejudices that plagued society. But what if she was wrong? The thought alone made her insides turn to ice. It would gut her. And she would, in turn, gut him.
“Is there something else on your mind, Lyddie?” Freddy’s pinched expression greeted her.
She drew in a breath. “Giles, I will tie my husband’s cravat, if you please. You are dismissed.”
Freddy’s eyes stretched wide. Giles may be trusted with many secrets. But her son’s livelihood wasn’t one she’d ever risk. Giles politely bowed and left them alone.
She stepped up to Freddy and began tugging the fabric of his cravat into place. “I had a discussion with Felix while you were gone.” She briskly weaved the fabric. “And I need you to be prepared for him to come to you. To be frank, I don’t know if he will approach you.” She glanced up at him as she pulled the length of fabric up and over. “Hopefully, he will know that you are the kind of man he can trust with such a confidence.”
Freddy’s hand landed softly on hers, his furrow deep. “Lyddie, what on earth are you talking about?”
“I believe—and I am his mother, Freddy, so I am wont to know—that Felix may not grow to…prefer women.”
Her husband froze. And then he let out a low chuckle. “He’s eleven, Lyddie. How could you ever come to that conclusion?”
“Trust me, Freddy. He didn’t say it in so many words. But he feels different. He’s not interested in girls like the boys he runs around with are. And goodness, since he came to me? I’ve seen the way he looks at that Harrington boy. I never would have thought twice of it before. But he looks smitten at the boy.Besotted.”
Freddy took an abrupt step backward, shaking his head. “No, Lyddie. He is too young to know of such a thing. He is merely confusing friendship. It is common amongst boys. To develop a close friendship that they confuse. At that age, affection doesn’t matter by gender. As he grows into manhood, it will clear itself up. I am sure of it.”
“That sounds very much like denial,” she said quietly. Sadness, as though fed by a slow steam, filled her.
“It’s not denial. I just—No father wants a son who…”
“Frederick,” she warned.
“God, Lydia. You are hurling quite a declaration at me!” He pulled at his wild amber curls. “Saying our son,my heir, prefers men? It’s unacceptable—”
“Unacceptable?” Anger turned her body to stone. “Unacceptable,” she bit out, planting her fists on her hips. Fists clenched so tight her nails dug into her palms. But she relished the bite.
“In our society, Lyddie,” Freddy hurried to add. “Come now, you cannot be so naïve as to think that something like this will be accepted?”
“No, I know it won’t be. But I did expectyouto.”
“Of course, I will accept it, if it must be. But it is criminal. Can you blame me for being disappointed—”
She slashed her hand through the air. “I am going to halt you right there.” She stepped up to her husband, nose inches from his. And even though he towered over her, he shrank back. Her finger dug into his chest. “You will never mention the worddisappointedwhen you speak with Felix about this—whenever that day comes. And it will, Freddy. I know as only a mother can. And so help me God, Frederick Octavius Jennings, if you make that boy feel anything less than completely accepted and loved and secure in the knowledge that this family will stand behind him and protect him.” She shoved her finger deeper into his chest. “So help me God. I. Will. Dismember. You.”
