Page 120 of Enemies with an Earl
Then Sam collapsed on top of Felix, forehead dropping to the crook of Felix’s neck. His ragged breaths danced across Felix’s skin, his weight heavy, reassuring, his heat familiar, comforting. He went to push up, but Felix quickly wrapped his arms around his man, pulling Sam back down. He wasn’t ready to lose that. Not when he didn’t know when he’d have this again. If he’d ever have this again.
“I’ll crush you,” Sam mumbled into Felix’s skin.
“Don’t be daft,” Felix said thickly, blinking back the burn in his eyes. “Your full weight isn’t even on me.”It would be better if it was.
Sam pressed hard kisses along Felix’s collarbone but said nothing. He didn’t make a sound, but Felix felt the tension coiling—muscles going taut, fingertips spasming against his skin. He recognized it for what it was. A body seizing in pain. As its heart was torn in two.
“Go get us some wet cloths,” Felix whispered shakily. “And then get back over here. I want you lying completely on top of me. I need to be surrounded by you.”Need to drown in you.
Sam slowly pushed up, and his watery grey gaze met Felix’s. “Anything you want, love,” he said, his voice raw and rough-edged. “I’ll give you anything.”
And so that’s how they spent the night, wrapped up in each other, the secure weight of Sam anchoring him. Sam’s cheek rested atop Felix’s chest, leg casually thrown over him. But it was a long while until Felix succumbed to sleep. He lay there, fingers sifting through Sam’s hair, letting the gentle hum of Sam’s even breathing soothe his aching heart.
He couldn’t fall asleep.
Not when every second with Sam felt so precious.
59
Sam
Trenton Abbey
Hampshire, England.
The last few days had been a blur of legalities and ledgers, wading through a mountain of records on the estates’ holdings—estates plural, because Sam’s inheritance also came with a big bloody castle in Scotland with a whole separate set of tenants he was now responsible for.
Holy. Fucking. Shite.
But Sam was glad for it all. The pure onslaught of figures and facts being thrown at him every day, combined with being updated on the country estate he hadn’t set foot on in over two decades, had his mind and body in a permanent state of exhaustion. When his head hit the pillow at night, he didn’t even have time to dwell on the aching hollowness inside his chest. Because his heart was still back in London. He blindly let his solicitor lead, because he wasn’t capable of anything else, not when it took every bit of strength he had to avoid breaking down.
“Now, you also have your estate in Scotland,” Sam’s solicitor, Mr. Holmes, said.
He was far younger than Sam would have expected, a bit overeager with spectacles that kept sliding down his nose and a cowlick at his crown. He was nothing like what Sam would have expected. Sam would have thought some silver-haired, solemn cove who had been with his family since the beginning of time would be his solicitor.
But Sam had learned many of the staff had been turned over when his second brother, Edmund, had inherited, including the hiring of Mr. Holmes. He had a feeling that was for the best. Sam had no idea what Mr. Holmes’s knowledge was of Sam’s past, but the man hadn’t shown Sam anything but the utmost respect.
He was pacing and droning on about Sam’s estate—something about how his brother had hired a very capable steward who could continue running things in Scotland if that would please Sam. Sam was having quite a bit of difficulty giving a bloody fuck. He drew in a deep breath. But people depended on him now, so he needed to at least ensure his people were taken care of.
This was what he’d wanted, wasn’t it? Purpose. Sam choked back a delirious laugh, and all the occupants of the room—Mr. Holmes, Ash, and Felicity—shot him a concerned look. But how could one not laugh like a lunatic at this? Life just threw him two estates full of purpose. But stole away everything that really mattered. Now, he’d give anything to go back to being Felix’s kept man, to be fully dependent on him. Hindsight was a twisted bastard.
“You will also need to take your seat in the House of Lords. Once the Crown is notified of your succession, the necessary steps will be taken to verify your claim.”
Sam’s attention snapped to the armchair across from his desk where Ash sat. Felicity’s teacup froze halfway to her mouth from where she perched on the leather couch just beyond the desk. This was it. This was the reckoning—when his past and present would finally collide. Right now, no one knew Sam had been found. No one knew he was at his family’s estate—hisestate. But he couldn’t indefinitely avoid the glaringly empty seat in the House of Lords. Which meant the Crown would know where he was.
“Have you already notified them?” Sam kept his voice neutral, his attention never leaving Ash’s.
“I have. My letter should have arrived—or will, any day now. We should expect your writ of summons within the fortnight.”
Sam’s stomach dropped to the floor. Or what would be more likely, they’d verify the succession, conduct their due diligence, and it wouldn’t be long until someone in Whitehall connected the new Earl to the fugitive who escaped the noose four-and-twenty years ago.
Mr. Holmes delicately cleared his throat. “There’s something else. Your brother had a special request in his will.” Mr. Holmes went over to his satchel and pulled out a worn leather journal. “This was kept in a safe only your brother had access to,” the solicitor said. “He was adamant that this be left for you and you alone.” He cast a hesitant glance at Sam’s visitors, like he didn’t think they should even be present for this, but Sam had made it clear Ash was staying by his side through this. He needed a trusted adviser. Who better than a Duke best mate?
“I will leave you to…peruse this.”
As soon as the door clicked shut, all demure, poised duchess vanished from Felicity and she scurried over to Sam’s desk, slapping her palms down on the surface. “Come on now. What does it say?”
Sam threw her a pointed glance as he unfastened the tie around the journal—theunopenedjournal he quite clearly hadn’t had time to read yet.
