Page 59 of Enemies with an Earl
“Trying to? That sounds like you’ve given up. Are you saying you no longer hate me, Thorne?” A grin split Felix’s face as he twisted around to glance at Thorne over his shoulder.
The man fought valiantly to keep his lips flat. He lifted a bored shoulder and let out a grunt. “Eh.”
Felix shook his head and turned back around. “I’ll admit, part of it is feeling inadequate, but it’s more than that. Sometimes the pressure is so crushing, like I’m being buried alive. I am all there is. I’m where it ends. There is no one above me to step in.”To protect me. To step in when I fail.“It’s so easy for things to go wrong. The minute you settle, the minute you let your guard down, things go south. That’s when disaster strikes. If I mess up, they are the collateral damage. My family depends on me. I willalwaysensure they are protected and safe.”
Thorne’s fingers squeezed tightly, and Felix flinched. He jerked his head over his shoulder and caught Thorne’s stormy gaze.
“Apologies,” Thorne said quickly, the storm clouds in his eyes clearing. “Are you all right?”
Felix shifted so he could see Thorne’s face better, studied the man’s tight features, the way his skin seemed to have paled slightly, the way his irises had turned a sad overcast grey. “Yes…” Felix said slowly.But are you?
Thorne cleared his throat. “That’s admirable, Bentley. What you do for your family. And while it seems as though you do a commendable job, I can see the strain that would put on a man. When an aristocratic role is embraced with genuine purpose, by someone who possesses heart and honor, for good, it is far more demanding than it appears.”
Felix searched the man’s eyes, trying to find what he was hiding. But the man hid it too well.
Thorne gently turned Felix back around, removing any chance of prodding. Felix let it go. It wasn’t his place. Even if they were trading more than he ever thought they would, every man was allowed his secrets. Hell, Felix had his fair share. Thorne didn’t owe Felix anything. Something inside his chest deflated, and he had no idea why.
Thorne encouraged Felix to lean back against his chest, then his hands worked over the front of Felix’s shoulders, dipping to the top of his chest muscles and then back up. Felix sank back as his muscles softened beneath the man’s talented fingers. A breeze picked up, and the willow’s branches swayed, whispering around them, a soft floral fragrance drifting into the haven.
“I make a lot of mistakes,” Felix finally murmured into the silence. Thorne’s fingers lightened in their touch, coasting softer, encouraging Felix to continue. “Obviously, you are well aware of the four-year failed betrothal I forced upon my sister. But that wasn’t the only time I erred.
“When my father had first passed, I was quite…sought after. One young woman pursued my younger brother—made it seem as though she desired his attention, but it was all a guise to get closer to me. Do you know how I found out what she was truly after?”
Thorne hummed in question.
“She propositioned me in my study. I was completely taken aback. Foolishly believed her interest in my brother was in earnest. She kissed me. Something my brother walked in on. He was eighteen.”
Thorne stiffened and cursed.
“I know,” Felix agreed. “I…felt like I should have known. What woman wants to marry a mere lad of eighteen? Untitled. And, well, I hadn’t thought of it at the time, because I love my brother, and his quirky ways are just something I adore about him. But he wasn’t exactly a smooth-talking rogue. I could have protected him if only I had been more observant. Christ, if I had only used an ounce of my brain.”
He exhaled deeply. “I’d never been more furious in my life. Well, maybe when…actually no.” He shook his head, and it rocked against Thorne’s shoulder, bumping into his chin. “I definitely hadn’t ever been that furious.”
He’d never truly felt rage for William Minton. Gut-wrenching despair and heartbreak? The piercing hollowness that only came from betrayal? Those were the things he’d felt regarding William. And perhaps that’s why Miss Browning deceiving Fitzy had ignited an uncharacteristic fury in Felix. It was one thing for him to be hurt, but one of his family? Inexcusable.
“My brother was devastated.” He’d seen the same look of destruction on his brother’s face that he’d felt all those years ago. The old rage simmered under his skin, something he wouldn’t ever forget. Because he would never forgive someone slighting his family. His voice hardened. “I destroyed her. I ensured she was ruined so thoroughly she would never set foot in England, let alone London again.”
Thorne’s fingers stilled.
“You might think me harsh,” Felix said tightly. “But I protect what’s mine. No one hurts my family.”
“I don’t,” Thorne said quietly, his voice rough around the edges. “I admire you, actually.”
Oh. All rage fled, leaving behind softened muscles that had him sinking back into Thorne’s chest.
“How is…your relationship with your brother after that? Did he know you didn’t return her affections?”
Felix nodded, his head bumping into Thorne’s chin. “I know it’s not common, but my entire family knows I have no interest in women. My mother is a remarkably perceptive woman and a complete lioness. She saw the signs, understood the faintest of hints I dared to reveal. She paved a way for me to be safe. She and Father.”
“You are most fortunate.”
Felix let his head fall back on Thorne’s shoulder and stared into the tree’s canopy, gaze tracing the large branches arching out from the main trunk. “I am.”
They sat like that, silent, time slipping by unnoticed; nothing but the lift and fall of Thorne’s chest at his back, the muffled sounds of the gurgling river. Even the birds seemed to have quieted. It was odd, but for the first time in a long time, the weight of his responsibilities, the tumult of his anxieties…all faded away. Felix was simply at peace. In this haven. In this other world inside a willow tree canopy.
He registered a weight on his stomach and glanced down. Frowned. Thorne’s hands rested on Felix’s abdomen, arms wrapped snugly around him. Which meant…
Felix burst out laughing.
