Page 69 of Enemies with an Earl
Felicity groaned. “Am I never going to live this down?”
“Darling, you gave your dear mother a whole collection of new grey hairs. I will be teasing you mercilessly for thisfor years.”
Felicity grumbled underneath her breath, and Mother’s tinkling laughter floated back to Felix.
He took a bracing breath and followed. It was only noon, and already his eyes dragged with the effort of keeping them open, an overtired ache building in his temples. His dark room and soft bed linens called to him. He just wanted to crawl back into that darkness and let it consume him.
That was the funny thing about melancholy, wasn’t it? It was miserable, ate away at you from the inside out, poisoning your mind with grim thoughts.
But you craved it.
It had the power to destroy you.
And all you wanted to do was let it win.
For now, Felix wouldn’t let it. He’d see how long that lasted.
Once Fitzy and Georgiana arrived, the entire Jennings clan gathered in the Devonford library, joined by His Grace and Lady Pandora. The Duke was as stoic as ever but remained within an arm’s reach of his future duchess at all times. Felix was still amazed that the same grim man standing before him was the one who’d laughed uproariously and jested back at the gamekeeper’s cottage. The man was so much more than met the eye.
They all had layers, didn’t they? No one truly knew what hid beneath. Look at his sister-in-law, Georgiana. She was this tiny thing, with large doe-eyes and spun-gold hair. She was the picture of innocence. But Felix happened to know from when he had helped his brother through the early trials of his marriage that the angelic woman had…risqué proclivities. And clearly Felix’s oft stuttering and perpetually blushing brother delivered, considering he hadn’t needed any assistance since.
Felix stepped forward to greet his brother and sister-in-law. He bussed Georgiana on the cheek and pulled back with a soft smile. “You’re positively glowing, Georgiana.” He would forever be grateful for the woman. For what she had given his brother. More confidence, more smiles, more laughter.
Now was proof. Fitzy’s dimples were on full display, his grin practically eating his face. He was quick to tuck his wife back to his side, and she melted against him. A deep, aching longing settled in Felix’s chest. They were so utterly, maddeningly, in love. So perfectly fitted.
“And you, Fitzy…” Felix arched a brow. “Careful, your countenance might end up stuck in that foolish grin permanently. What has you so overjoyed?”
His brother and sister-in-law exchanged a surreptitious glance. Felix’s gaze bounced between the two, a niggling suspicion growing. He glanced at his mother, who was lookingverypleased. His attention shot back to Fitzy. “Fitzy… Are you… Are you?”
Fitzy’s grin widened further, a feat Felix hadn’t thought possible. “Gigi’s with child.”
Felicity squealed behind Felix and then practically attacked Georgiana in a hug. Felix opened his mouth, but his throat decided it was the perfect moment to close over. So instead, he reached for Fitz and hauled his brother into a bone-crushing hug.
“I’m so bloody happy for you, Fitzwilliam,” he said in a choked whisper.
Fitzy’s hands tightened on Felix’s back. “Thank you, brother.” They both released each other, and a pair of glassy amber eyes reflected back at Felix. A mottled red blush was rapidly spreading over Fitzy’s features all the way to the tips of his ears. “I never thought a family was a possibility,” Fitz said hoarsely, voice wavering. “Not for s-someone like me.”
Felix’s chest tightened, his brother’s pain taking root as his own. He knew those fears all too well. He would forever be indebted to Georgiana for taking that pain away for his brother.
Gigi sidled up to her husband. “It’s funny,” she said, so much love in her gentle tone, in her sparkling green eyes. “I can’t think of someone who deserves a family more than you, love.”
“I couldn’t agree more, brother,” Felix said gruffly.
And yes, the pathetic muscle in his chest ached, wailed that it wanted what his brother had, too. A child—children—a family. It was Felix’s dream. An unattainable one.
His parents had created all of this. The love and joy overflowing from this room. Because they’d provided an endless amount of love to their children, loved them for who they were, taught them how to survive in a world that wouldn’t. Felix wanted to create that for himself.
His shadows crowded closer. A family of his own wasn’t a part of his future. And if two nights ago was any indication, neither was love. It appeared no matter how hard he tried, he’d never be able to outrun his past.
But even as pain threatened to surface, the warmth that filled Felix’s chest from his brother’s news, from his brother’s unadulterated joy, wrapped itself around the damaged organ hiding there, a soft blanket of comfort. He glanced heavenward, and a part of him thought he could feel his father’s presence drifting around the room. His siblings were finding their happiness, secure and safe in their futures.
That was everything Felix could have ever hoped for.
35
Felix
“Areyougoingtotell me what’s amiss, Felix?”
