Page 84 of Enemies with an Earl
Felix
Samwenttogetup, and Felix latched onto the man’s ribcage with his arms, throwing a naked thigh over Sam for good measure. Sam’s deep chuckle rumbled beneath Felix’s cheek.
“I should slip back to my chamber.”
Felix gave a small noise of protest. After theirexplosivereunion, they’d sat down to talk. They’d both been hesitant during the discussion. Felix had recognized his same fear in Sam’s reluctance to voice exactly what he wanted out of their arrangement. Walls had come down, but not fully. For now, they’d settled on Sam stepping in as Felix’s temporary valet while Giles took a brief reprieve. The man needed a holiday. Well, what he really needed was retirement. Felix propped his chin on his hands. If things went the way he hoped, he was currently lying in bed atop Giles’s replacement.
Felix glanced at Sam beneath his lashes and traced a finger up and down the man’s sharp jaw. “Or you could…not.”
Sam groaned, and his head sank back further into his pillow. “My first night here, and I’m already sleeping in the master’s chambers?” he said to the ceiling.
“Your master is needy.”
Sam cursed, his muscles going stiff beneath Felix.Something elsegoing stiff as well. Sam blew out a breath. “Won’t it look…questionable? I know we said I’d step in as your valet and see how we’re feeling in a month’s time, but… What will the other servants think? Do you really think they won’t catch on to what’s going on?”
Felix pushed up and straddled Sam, hands flat against the meaty muscles of Sam’s chest. “You’re correct. This isn’t going to be as simple as saying you’re my valet and you taking up your place in the servant’s hierarchy. You’ll be stuck in an…ambiguous place: servant, but not.”
He chewed his lip thoughtfully. “Perhaps saying you’re my valet doesn’t make sense. You’ll act as my valet, but…men have houses they keep their mistresses in, right? We’ll replicate that sort of arrangement.” Felix grinned. “You can have the countess’s chambers adjoining mine.” He bounced his eyebrows. “My very own mistress’s chambers.”
Sam barked out a laugh. “Shite. Am I a kept man now?”
Felix’s lids grew heavy. “Oh, I like that, Sam. I do think I’ll keep you.”
“Fuck.”Sam’s eyes slid shut for a breath, his cock twitching against Felix’s arse. “What is wrong with me that I like the sound of that so much? I always thought I would want to be the one doing thekeeping.”
Felix lifted a shoulder and let it flop back down. “I don’t think it’s ever really that simple, is it? I suppose some people fit nicely into boxes, but I think wants and needs are…fluid. They change. What first drew me to you was your size, your sheer presence. The thought of being controlled and thrown around by you.” And wasn’t that just bitterly ironic? The thing that captivated him most also…made him remember. Was the thing that had broken him.
He shoved that away. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t also like taking charge.” He cocked a brow and leaned back, snaking a hand behind him to gently palm Sam’s ballocks. “Doing the manhandling.” He winked.
“Tease,” Sam groaned.
Felix chuckled and rolled off Sam, staring up at the ceiling. Sam shifted beside him, and the heat of Sam’s gaze burned into the side of his face.
“All right. I’ll move into the adjoining chambers,” Sam said quietly.
“And eat all meals with me.”
“And eat all meals with you.”
Felix turned to Sam, who was propped up on an elbow, head resting on his hand. “You will be my valet in name, for protection. But the only things remotely servant-like that you’ll do are the most intimate valet duties. I’ll have someone else do the other things like polishing and pressing my clothes.” He looked away. “I don’t feel comfortable hiring someone new right now, to dress me, to shave me. It’s an intimate relationship, a man and his valet.” His muscles went tight, his lungs restrictive.
“Fee, easy,” Sam soothed. “I don’t mind doingallvalet duties. But I definitely won’t complain about getting to dress and undress you.” Sam’s strong hand gently cradled Felix’s face and brought it back to face him. “Trust me when I say I understand what you mean. Even if my valet duties have never been asintimateas they are with you.” He winked, and Felix’s lips tilted up. “But you don’t need to make yourself uncomfortable for my sake.”
“I appreciate that. I don’t trust easily,” Felix said quietly.
“I gathered that. Understandable given the consequences of our preferences being found out.”
And just like that, a burning took up in Felix’s chest, his lungs spasming. He counted out his breaths and focused on relaxing each individual muscle. His body relaxed, and he sank into the mattress on an exhale, grateful it hadn’t grown into something worse. They were coming much less frequently now—the spasms, the attacks—less severe.
He glanced at Sam from the corner of his eye to find the man watching him carefully. “So, urm… This is something else I wanted to discuss with you. Something we didn’t get to before. My reaction back in May when we tried…” He trailed off and grimaced. Heat washed over his cheeks and down his neck. He was still absolutely mortified about that entire encounter.
Sam’s thumb brushed gently over Felix’s cheekbone. “If it’s too difficult to speak of, you don’t need to force yourself. But I want you to know something, Felix.” Serious steely grey eyes searched Felix’s. “I don’t need that. You mentioned how wants and needs are…fluid for many people. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with, I’m perfectly happy doing all the other fun things we can do together.” Sam’s lips hooked up in a half-smile. “There is plenty to keep us occupied. I get enjoyment fromyourenjoyment. Understand?”
Felix nodded, a sharp burn building behind his nose. “I appreciate that,” he said roughly. “Perhaps we don’t discuss it tonight, then. But I would like to speak to you about it at some point.”If I ever can.
“And I’ll be here whenever you’re ready. I just ask you to be honest with me about what you’re comfortable with, so I don’t cross any unwanted boundaries.”
“There are no other boundaries,” Felix hurried to assure. “Just that one.”
