Page 107 of Ruthless with a Rogue
“Liv, are you well?”
A large hand rested on her arm, and she recoiled, retreating in on herself, her gaze shooting to Warren.He stared at her, brows furrowed, eyes searching hers.
“I-I…” She drew in a shuddering breath.Oh God.The nightmare of that night hadn’t haunted her like that in a long time.“Would it be all right if we stayed upon the lit terrace?”
“Of course.”He glanced distractedly toward the guests in the distance at the other end of the terrace.“Of course that is fine.I just wanted a small amount of privacy for this conversation.This will do just fine.”He paused and really took her in.“Are you sure you’re well?You’re shaking.”
He frowned at her, his gaze darkening.“Did he do something to you?Quinton had told me he was to declare his intentions tonight, and when he didn’t make an appearance… I thought perhaps he was just living up to his reputation.But if he hurt you, Liv, I swear to God I’ll—I’ll rearrange his ballocks.”
Livy gaped at Warren, all unease chased away by pure shock.Who was this man standing before her?She shook her head slowly.“No, Lord Dunmore has done nothing to hurt me.In any way.”
He nodded stiffly.“Excellent.Just wanted to be sure.”
She studied him.Clenched jaw, a muscle visibly ticking beneath the surface.A faint flush coloring his cheeks.Tension radiated from him.“Warren, is something amiss?”
“Me.”
“I… Pardon?”
“I am what is amiss.I am what is wrong.God, Liv.”He ran a hand through his blond hair glinting in the moonlight.His eyes slid shut, and he tilted his head toward the sky.“I was such a pompous arse.Unforgivably so.”
When his lids lifted, it was a tortured gaze that met her own.“It’s not a justification, but I did as my parents told me to do.I believed what they told me to believe.But they were wrong.Theyarewrong.”He fisted his hands in his hair, pulling.“Christ, it’s like I lacked all spine.I was a complete imbecile, giving them blind obedience, playing the part they wished of me.I didn’t fight for you, for us.I was—am—pathetic.I don’t even know whoIam, but whoever that is, I don’t like him.”
His hands dropped to his sides, and he shook his head, blond waves falling back into place.“What I do know is that I have treated you intolerably, someone I hold the deepest affection for.And for that, I am deeply sorry.”His voice lowered, pain lacing his words.“I’m so sorry I hurt you, Liv.There will never be words strong enough to express my regret, my shame in the way I treated you,” he said hoarsely.“You were always so good to me.And now that I realize what you put up with?I never deserved you.I don’t.”
She opened her mouth, but she was too dumbfounded to form words.To form thoughts.
“I’ve told my parents I won’t be marrying this season.They’re extremely displeased, considering they’d already had a match in mind.But I’m not fit to be someone’s husband.Not when I’m ashamed of the man I am.I’m going to learn to be better.”He tilted his head back and let out a humorless laugh.“I’ve got a long bloody way to go.”
“Warren…”
His gaze clashed with hers, shattered.“You will forever be my greatest mistake.”
Livy swallowed hard, eyes burning.Her heart was nothing but a destroyed mass in her chest.Because it was agonizing facing a love ended, seeing the last remnants of it standing before her.
She knew he spoke the truth; the conviction in his tone didn’t leave any room for doubt.He was going to change.He was going to become the man she always knew was there within him.It was who she’d met at the age of fifteen, who slowly year after year had faded away.She’d held on tighter, grasping, but he’d disappeared and fallen out of reach.If they truly had been meant to be, she would have been able to hold on.And he would have found her something worth defying for.
That man would resurface.She had no doubt.
“Don’t think that way, Warren,” she said softly.“When we met, the boy you were was someone destined to grow into a great man.Our world is not one in which rules are lightly set aside.But I was never the woman for you.”Her vision blurred, and she clenched her teeth against the hollow ache that tore through her like a gutting.She cleared her throat.“After the time we spent together, that wasn’t an easy fact to accept.I cared—still care—deeply about you.But I know without a doubt now that we were never meant to be forever.”
Warren’s gaze shimmered in the shadows, nostrils flaring, the same raw pain looking back at her.“And your forever is Lord Dunmore.”
There was no question in his statement, but she answered anyway.“Yes.”
“So that is that then,” he said tightly.“Five years together, thrown away, all for naught.”
She knew he was hurting.Heavens,shewas hurting.She knew that was the reason behind the bitterness in his voice.Even so, she wouldn’t let that comment slide.
“As I recall, you were quick to throw it away not two months ago.”She said it carefully, as gently as she was able, while remaining firm in her resolve, knowing the truth in the words would be salt in the wound.She thought, perhaps, Warren would benefit from someone putting him in his place a bit more often.
He turned away, his face contorting in a grimace.“Yes, there is no one at fault here except for me.”
Livy reached for him, her hand settling on his forearm.He didn’t look at her, so she gave him a slight squeeze and waited until his gaze finally landed on hers.
She smiled and forced a bit of teasing into her tone.“A good mistake to learn now, yes?So that when the right woman does come along, you won’t muck it up.”
He dropped his chin in a clipped nod.“Yes, I suppose there is that.”
