Page 109 of Ruthless with a Rogue
“Lord.Dunmore.”His lips barely moved as he snarled the words.A beast with hackles raised.Injured, cornered.
“And what is that,Lord Dunmore?”She threw it back at him.Mocking.She knew it down to her core that right now he couldn’t handle soft.Compassion wasn’t the right tactic.He needed an opponent, a fight.
His nostrils flared, something volatile staring back at her in his near-black stare.“You think you can fix me,reformme.That I need you.I don’t.”He laughed, hollow and hair-lifting.“I finally got what I wanted from you.You are no different from any other woman vying for a place in my bed.And just like them, I have no more use for you.”
She flinched, and it only fueled her ire.Because she’d expected this and still the barbs struck sharply.Hit her deep where that lonely, worthless girl lived.The one nobody wanted.She crossed her arms and lifted her nose at him.“Fine.Get rid of me.”
He blinked at her, the taut lines of fear and fury going lax.“I beg your pardon.”
She’d shocked him.A shock that broke through the venom he was spitting at her.“You have no more use for me.”She shrugged.“Dispose of me,my lord.But you need to physically remove me from this room if that’s the case.”
He scoffed, but the panic he was trying to hide behind vitriol and cutting remarks was beginning to show.Eyes wide and white, his gaze not able to land anywhere, frantic.His fists were balled at his sides now.All he needed to do was carry her out of here, and he’d have what he so assuredly said he wanted.She glared at him.Dared him to touch her and stay true to his threat.
“Fine.”He shot to his feet, his chair toppling backward with a crash.His stare shot to the Duke, but there was no movement, the clatter of the furniture doing nothing to penetrate the man’s deathly stillness.That seemed to reignite Derek’s fury.He turned to face Livy, his eyes ablaze with emotion poised at the brink.Seconds from spilling over.But he was resolute.Determined.To shove it all down.To not feel.
But he felt so much.Too much.
Something flickered over his features, a final hardening, the last layer of armor, and then he scooped her up and strode for the door.Her arms went around him, hands digging into his hair.Latching on.He made it two steps before he dropped to his knees.She pulled him to her, and he swore into her neck.His entire frame shook violently, on the verge of losing control.
“God damn you, Livy.”
His broken words sank into her like shards of glass.But even so, for the first time all night, a light fluttering of hope came to life in her chest.
“You need to go.”His words were scraped raw, the pain inside him seeping through his barriers.“I can’t do this with you.I thought I could.I thought for once life was going to let me have a piece of happiness.But happiness isn’t meant for me.”
His hands slid up to grip the sides of her head, forced her to face him, eye to eye, nose to nose, his gaze manic.“Everyone leaves,” he hissed.His pulse was erratic, racketing against his breastbone into her own.“Whether of their own accord or because life takes them away from me.You need to leave now before it becomes the latter.It’s already tried once.I can’t—”
She rested her forehead against his, not letting up in her grip on him.She wasn’t letting go.She wasn’t leaving.
“You were safe until you met me.”His words turned pleading, and that hurt so much worse than the cruelty from a moment ago.“There is only one way this ends.I refuse.I refuseto let that happen.You leave now.I won’t be able to handle—” A tremor sliced through him, shaking all the way through her.“It’s already too much.It’ll only be worse later,” he said hoarsely.“I can’t go through what’s happening with Rafe, with you.I can’t.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Derek,” she whispered.
“You can’t know that.”His voice was so small.So scared.
She hated it.Because there was truth to his statement.No one ever knew what life would bring.But she did know one thing.Life would have to wrench her away from this man.It would never be by choice.“I’m not leaving.”
“Yes, because you're a fool,” he bit out.“You should be running in the opposite direction.”But his fingers tightened, giving him away.
“Or, perhaps I’m just extremely intelligent and see through all your…shallots.”
A watery laugh burst from him, and in the next breath it collapsed into uncontrollable sobs.She pressed him to her, held on as tight as she was able, tried to hold him together as he shattered in her arms.Tears streamed down her face as the most agonizing sounds ripped from him.The sound of pain, of terror.It echoed around them, each cry slicing through her.
“I can’t lose him.”His broken whisper muffled into her neck.“He’s everything to me.My brother.My family.All I have.”
Her heart seized in her chest, ached with his pain, with helplessness.
“I can’t lose him.”
She did the only thing she could.She held him as he repeated those words over and over into her skin.A litany.A prayer.
“I can’t lose him.I can’t lose him.I can’t lose him.”
And she prayed along with him.
54
Derek
