Page 46 of Ruthless with a Rogue
He stared at her for a long time, not speaking, mouth slightly parted like the words were just about to come forth.
Finally, he said, “I hope he’s worth it.”
“My destiny in this life is to become a man’spossession.Either that or I live a life alone.Those are my two options.I know Warren.I know, despite the barriers keeping us apart, he cares for me, and I know what my future would look like as his wife.”She smiled sadly at him.“Oddly enough, the only person who has ever seemed to appreciate me as I am, obsession with mathematics and all, is you.”
His gaze darted away.Once again, he proved her correct.The instant discomfort when she spoke of him as a suitor who’d appreciate her was loud in the quiet room.Because he’d never be her suitor.
“Men like you only want one thing from women.You want me in your bed; it’s what our deal is based on, after all.You most definitely don’t want marriage.And I don’t hold that against you, Derek.Just so you know.You’ve been nothing but honest with me.But all I am is a diverting time to you.That doesn’t lead to a future with someone to share meals and quiet conversations with.To fill a home with children and laughter.I want that.I’ll do what I must to get it.”
He pressed his lips tight, the whitening skin like a small flash in the darkness.
“Have you heard of a chameleon, Derek?”
His brows drew together, but he hummed his assent.
“They change their color to blend into their surroundings.To protect themselves, so they can survive.If that’s what I must do to survive, so be it.I don’t want to be alone.I shouldn’t have to be alone.”Frustration mounted, shaking her words.She paused, tried to force it away with a slow, unsteady breath.“I know already that Warren appreciates some of my colors, ones society never would.”She smiled, but it was forced, a weak attempt to cover up the sadness that came with that reality.“And perhaps one day, he’ll appreciate every one of them.”
He nodded slowly.“I’ll do whatever I can to help you win your beau, Miss Forester.”
A small twinge of disappointment pinged in her chest.For a brief time, it’d felt like they’d been friends.But it was clear he wanted to put distance back between them.
“We should get you home.I’ll escort you this time.”He arched a brow, that small movement brooking no argument.
“You do realize, I’m probably more at risk being alone with you in a carriage than if I were to get a hackney back to my rooms.”Especially considering the last time.
His face split into his signature devilish grin.“Naturally.I may have said I’ll do whatever I can to assist you.But I’m still just as determined to seduce you.”
He was insufferable.
She couldn’t say she hated it.
27
Derek
DereksteeredMissForesterand her aunt through the crowd of guests in the Rutledge drawing room toward Lady Rutledge.He barely suppressed his grin at the wonder that lit Miss Forester’s eyes as she took in the room.
He’d escorted them to the Rutledge dinner party—shown up when he was expected.He wasn’t failing to keep his word again.His stomach tightened, and he balled his fists.He didn’t fall into melancholy like a few days earlier often.But, bloody fucking hell, he couldn’t believe Miss Forester had seen him like that.At his weakest.Most vulnerable.The Marquess of Dunmore did not do vulnerable.Yet…he wasn’t as embarrassed as he’d thought he’d be.But his insides were doingsomething.And he didn’t like it.
It'd been a huge risk, Miss Forester visiting him.Like she’d said, it wasn’t the first time she’d done something potentially perilous because of him.But it was the first time she had without any incentive to herself.Simply to see if he was well.It was like…she was kind for the sake of being kind.It was very strange.Who did that?
Derek pressed his lips tight, his body attempting to hold back the frustration building inside him.Because it was a bloody shame.That she had been correct in her little tirade the other night.The fopWarrenwas probably her best option.Unless she somehow impressed on someone better, which she could only do if she pretended to be someone other than herself.
And was that better?No one cared in this fucking world they lived in.They were all self-serving bastards, only out for their own gain.They didn’t even care about their own children.Miss Forester lacked title, lacked wealth, even lacked a pedigree of successful breeding.The only thing she had of value to society was her beauty.
The only thing.He scoffed inwardly.It was an outrage to think all she had was her beauty.The calculated chameleon.Because her colors were stunning, and she deserved someone who appreciated them from the start.He swallowed roughly.But he understood.They had to make the most of the hand life dealt them.And just like she had in the gaming room, she was playing strategically, working with the cards she was dealt, aware of the ones already played, of the ones that remained.
I don’t want to be alone.I shouldn’t have to be alone.
He understood what it felt like to be alone.Christ, he did.And this bright, beautiful,brilliantwoman in front of him definitely didn’t deserve the same fate as a cold-hearted bastard like himself.He’d do everything in his power to make sure she achieved her aim.
“It’s absolutely splendid,” Miss Forester whispered, and her aunt chuckled.
“It is amazing to see such fine things,” Lady Elliot murmured.
“Oh, it is not that,” she squeaked out in delight.“It isthe people, Aunt Mellie.”Her hand came to rest over her bosom—her delicious bosom—rising and falling in her excitement.
Derek’s blood thrummed.If she got this exhilarated from a dinner party, he couldn’t wait until he got his hands on her.He might be set on making sure she landed her beau, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to shag her first.Honestly, he was doing her a favor.He was sure she was destined for a life of disappointment in the bedroom with that soft-handed fop.It was only sporting of Derek to show her true pleasure before she sentenced herself to a life like that.
